


Feel Better, Kid

by honeycombme



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Aggression, Angst, Attraction, Bikinis, Body Image, Boxers, Breasts, Bulges, California, Chills, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, Cock Worship, College, Consensual Sex, Drinking, Driving, Eye Sex, Falling In Love, Finals, Finger Sucking, Fingerfucking, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Fluffyfest, Hand Jobs, Honey, Hospitals, Hot Tub, Jealousy, Jeep - Freeform, Kissing, Large Cock, Love, Love Confessions, Massage, Mental Health Issues, Minor Leia Organa/Han Solo, Mountains, Muscles, Needy Ben, Nerdiness, Nipples, Orange, Points of View, Road Trips, Santa Fe, Self-Esteem Issues, Sex, Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Smut, Star Wars References, Travel, Triplet Ben Solo, Triplet Kylo Ren, Triplets, Unstable Will, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Wine, black - Freeform, glow - Freeform, mansion, needy, red wine, sunrise, the Ozarks, throbbing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-05-27 01:23:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15013628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeycombme/pseuds/honeycombme
Summary: Befriending the Solo's definitely made life better, considering your friend group grew from 1 person to 4, but you did not expect for your life to change so drastically.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I've been feeling Ben Solo a bit more recently, so i tried my hand at a different type of writing. This one takes a bit more backstory, so bear with me!

You winced as you plucked the last stray eyebrow, eyes watering slightly in your close-up mirror.

You had been avoiding the maintenance your eyebrows needed since you came back from the hospital. They wouldn’t let anyone give you tweezers in the 8th floor, so your grooming standards suffered for a few weeks. 

It was exactly 8 days since you had been released from the psych ward and you hadn’t answered anyone’s phone calls, save your mom and dad. You weren’t ready to face your best friends and have to answer to them being “worried sick” and “there for you if you needed it”.

Kylo, Matt and Ben sent flowers once a week for you to the hospital, writing you letters about how much they cared and all the ice cream you were going to consume with them as soon as you got out. Matty sent you articles about some of the tech he was working on, just to keep you in the loop. You loved it when Matt got lost in his nerd rants about things you’d never understand, how at the end of his rants, he’d send a strong finger to the bridge of his nose to push up his glasses. 

Matt was always a good listener for you, always paying attention to the small things you said and giving you his objective advice. Matt also had a hard time understanding your emotions at times, mainly because you weren’t a machine he could troubleshoot, but he always did his best. 

Kylo always tagged along in adventures and hang outs but mainly remains quiet. It took you a while to figure out that Kylo was a closet romantic. You had been looking for a book to read at the Solo household when you stumbled upon Kylo’s collection of poetry. A small, concealed from sight, section of the bookcase containing Emerson to Shakespeare to many more. 

When he saw you sitting on the floor, cross legged and completely enveloped in one of his books, he sat in front of you and began telling you which was his favorite. You sat there for 2 hours talking philosophy, tragedy and romance. Kylo always shared good poetry with you from that point forward, and you two were able to connect with everyone in a different way. 

Kylo sent you excerpts from his favorite poetry books while you were caged in the hospital, allowing you to be back at the Solo’s house, free to discuss all of your hearts woe’s without fear of judgment.  
Ben.  
Ben, the cheerful and confident brother who never missed a chance to crack jokes just to make someone smile Ben. All he did was send little notes saying, “Feel better, kid”.  
You and the Organa-Solo brothers had all gotten close. You felt comfortable to tell them what was going on with you, but there were some things you kept to yourself. 

~  
You had been battling your own self image problems since you could remember. Things got better after high school; less people were constantly putting you down and college had helped you lose a little weight from all the walking. 

You still couldn’t break the idea that you were an ugly duckling, that no one would find you attractive or ever give you a chance because you didn’t fit this perfect mold of a woman. You spent so much time staring at guys in your lecture halls, watching the way they smiled at certain girls who walked into the class. Watching those girls flip their hair or smile brightly towards the guys. 

You managed to fly under the radar until senior year when this absolute god of a sports science major joined your Senior Seminar course.  
“Is this seat taken?” he whispered as a professor droned on about job fairs. 

You looked up from your notebook, decked out with your doodles and your eyes widened. 

Leaning over to speak to you was a 6’2 bombshell, complete with icy blue eyes and olive tan skin. 

You nodded, face fixated like a doe confronted with a flashlight. 

You spent the rest of lecture glancing over at him through your peripheral vision, daydreaming that you two were face to face in a coffee shop professing your love for one another.

After that day, he sat next to you every Thursday lecture, each time saying a little bit more to you. You began to dress up a bit more for class, put on a little mascara or lipstick. Finally, after a few months of daydreaming, he chased after you post lecture.

“Hey, you!”he yelled, swinging his messenger bag against across his body. 

You said hey, he smiled and started asking what you were up to. Dumbstruck that he was giving you his attention, you melted and smiled and giggled like all the girls you saw throughout your years. 

His name was Harvey. He stood there, awkwardly talking about senior lecture, trying to make jokes at the professor to make you laugh. Eventually he asked if you wanted to go study with him in the common area, maybe get a bite to eat, blah blah blah. You might as well have said, “I do” by the way your eyes lit up. 

As the semester went on, you and Harvey spent a lot of time being frustrated together. Studying for long hours, checking each others papers and wolfing down pints of Ben and Jerry’s. Harvey became your rock, your steady support in the storm of college. Harvey occasionally invited some of his buddies to come and study with the two of you, but it was like you two were in sync. If you shifted, he shifted. If you needed a drink, he needed a drink. If he couldn’t answer a question, you knew the answer and vice versa. 

At one point, you were in the common room with Harvey when three tall guys came in and set up shop at the adjacent couch. 

You looked closely and realized they all had practically the same face, just different hair. You nudged Harvey and he looked in their direction. “Oh yeah, those guys,” he said nonchalantly, “Solo’s or something. Their parent’s donated the Aeronautical Engineering building. Surprised you don’t know ‘em”.

You looked over and noticed that they were all dressed really well, looked down at your own faded leggings and put a book over your lap. One of the guys kept looking over at you, the one with the shorter brown hair. He was kind of obnoxious. Kept making statements out of the blue, interrupting your train of thought. 

You and Harvey began working on practice questions for your final. You would ask Harvey a question, and if he got it right, he would receive a gummy bear (his favorite).  
You recited a question aloud and before Harvey could answer, the tall obnoxious one turned in your direction and exclaimed, “oh that one is SO easy!”

You rolled your eyes as this ‘Solo’ guy came sauntering over, sat next to you and plopped down on the couch. He began answering your practice question like it was rehearsed. 

Once he was finished and looked pleased with himself, he stretched out his hand towards you. 

“I believe that earned me one of those bears right there.”

You looked over at Harvey then back at this guy. You were always a push over so you gave into this somewhat stranger, forking over two Haribo gummy bears. 

He popped them in his mouth and stretched his arm behind you on the couch. 

“I’m Ben,” he stated, chewing the gummy bears victoriously. 

Soon, the other Solo brothers walked over and started pulling on Ben’s arm to get him back to their side, embarrassed by his boldness. 

“Sorry about this one, if he’s not on a leash he tends to just go wherever there is something shiny,” stated the one with a yellow vest on. “I’m Matt, this is Kylo,” he said pointing towards the one with a black turtleneck on, grunting as he and his brother pulled up the weight of Ben. “And this one apparently needs some extra obedience training!” Matt laughed lightly at his own joke, choking on a tiny snort at the end. 

You smiled. “I’m y/n, you guys working on this final too?”

“Well, trying to work on it. Ben keeps interrupting with his ADHD,” stated Kylo moodily. 

Laughing, you offered them to join you and Harvey in your studies. All three boys looked at each other then shrugged, working together to move the couch they were using to face yours. 

Harvey stayed relatively quiet which was unlike him, but he participated all the same. 

After an hour and a half or so of studying, you all decided you couldn’t get any more out of the day and began to pack up. 

The boys got together and heaved the couch back to it’s original spot and flung their backpacks over their shoulders. 

“Thanks for letting us intrude, the gummy bear tactic definitely gives me more incentive to be correct,” Matt proclaimed, “though I prefer muffin bites.” The brothers rolled their eyes at his statement and chuckled at their quirky brother. “Would you ever wanna get together to study again, all of us?”

You looked over to Harvey who had his winter coat and messenger bag secured. He was staring down at his phone, completely removed from the conversation.  
You looked back to the Solo’s and smiled decisively. It wouldn’t hurt to add a few friends to your arsenal. 

“Yeah, I think that could be cool,” you said as casually as possible. You reached into your pocket and pulled out your phone to take down Matt’s number. 

“Alright, see you then!” Matt said cheerfully after you all decided on another day soon to study again. The boys walked away, one after the other, Ben being the last. As you watched them walk away, he turned back to you and smiled extra big. You giggled at his goofiness and started to pack everything up yourself. 

As the next couple of weeks unfolded, you were spending more and more of your time in the common room with Harvey and the triplets. You felt more light hearted around the boys, even though finals were looming over your head. 

So much of your time was occupied either studying or in lecture. You didn’t have time to daydream about the day that Harvey would ask you to marry him anymore, it was crunch time.

The day that you completed your last final for the fall semester was like the being released from your prison cell, finally feeling the sunshine once more. Coincidentally, the sun was actually blazing as you stepped out of the lecture hall and out into the diamond speckled, snowy white grounds. 

Your lungs took in the icy air and you squinted your eyes. Out of nowhere, you felt a huge thud on your ass, followed by hearty, obnoxious laughter. 

“Oh my god, what a shot!” yelled Ben. 

“Asshole!!” you replied, rushing to form a snowball with your mitten constricted hands. You and ben squared up, circling each other with a threatening snowball in your palms. You saw his arm twitch and the next thing you knew, your arm catapulted a snowball towards his chest. Instead, the snowball rocketed right towards Ben’s face as his snowball hit your shin. 

It was theatrical, watching your snowball smash into Ben’s face. You couldn’t stop it but you panicked and ran towards him, hearing his groans after the impact. Reaching him, you began to apologize over and over and over in a shrill voice as he held his face in his hand. You stood there, continually asking if he was ok when Ben, peaked his eye through his fingers. After a split second he was lunging toward you, tackling you into the snow. You laughed and screamed at the same time, feeling the freezing snow beneath you and some of the snow making it’s way into your jacket. You both laid there in the snow for a second, ,laughing. 

“You know, that really fuckin’ hurt kid,” he chuckled as he fell back into the snow, sighing as he became still. “it’s ok though, there should be a bruise on that ass for like a month. Karma”.

“Ben, YOU shot first,” you exclaimed. 

“Yeah yeah yeah, that’s what people say about my dad,” he said playfully, “but it’s all about who you were looking at in the fight. My bet is, all eyes are on you.”  
You blushed against the cold. You were more used to Ben being crude and inappropriate, what he just said was actually kinda sweet. 

“I was thinking,” he began, “WE were thinking, if you don’t have plans this holiday break, maybe you’d wanna come spend it with us this year?”

You sat up, and Ben mimicked your position. 

“Like, spend a Christmas with you guys…at your parent’s place?” you said quizzically. 

“Well yeah,” said Ben, looking out towards the grounds picking grass beneath the snow, “My parent’s place is huge, like 7 rooms. My mom throws killer cocktail parties around the holidays, been stealing booze from them since I was like 13. Plus, they already know about you and have pre-approved the plan if you decide it’s something you’re into.”

You thought for a second, the sun beating down on you making you sweat despite the icy air. “Alright alright, where do they live?” 

“Yeah that’s the thing, they live in like, the middle-of-nowhere California…like in a mountain,” he proclaimed. 

“Why the hell do you guys go to school in Boston then?” you stated, chuckling at the triplets. 

Ben was exhaling small laughs as well. “Well to be honest, to get a sense of how life was elsewhere. Plus I heard the chicks in the northeast were second to none,” he said with a wink.

“Fuck off, Solo,” you retorted, rolling your eyes.

He jumped up quickly and offered a hand to help you. As soon as you gripped it he let you go playfully, causing you to fall slightly to the ground, then he caught your hand again. “God damnit Ben, you’re such a shit!!”

Later on that night, you were collecting things around your empty dorm room when you got a knock on your door. It startled you, as most of the campus had cleared out for winter break. 

“Just a sec!” you yelled, slightly annoyed. You picked up a few pairs of clothes you had thrown on the ground and tossed them in your closet. You walked to the door and opened it quickly. 

There was Harvey, standing leaned against the door, something a bit off about the way he was breathing. 

“Hey there good lookin’,” he slurred. You looked quizzically at him, your hand still on the door. 

“are you drunk?” you said, slightly irritable.

Harvey looked at you, laughed and forced his entry, slamming the door out of your hand and into the nearby wall. 

You jumped, and began to walk backwards as he stumbled into the room, slamming and locking your door.

His icy blue eyes were blood shot and half lidded with some nefarious intent. 

“Harvey what is going on, what are you doing?” you demanded.

He stopped, “oh so it’s alright for those Solo boys to run a train on you, but you can’t even let me in your room without giving me shit?”

You looked at his chest, his muscles tightening in a drunken rage. He unzipped his jacket and threw it on the floor, walking towards you threateningly.

Another knock at the door.

Your heart was pounding. You didn’t even have time to register what was happening but you ran around Harvey, terrified that he might grab you on your way to the door. Panting, you opened the door timidly. 

There stood Matt, Kylo and Ben, all bouncing on their heels with their hands in their pockets. 

You heard Harvey laugh menacingly behind you as he grabbed his jacket from the floor and stumbled over to the door, shoulder checking you and Matt on his way out. The boys looked just as confused as you felt as Harvey disappeared around the corner. 

You were shaking as the boys turned their attention to you, Matt pulling his hands out of his pockets to lead you inside. “Are-are are you ok? What just happened, what was that?”  
They let themselves in quietly, shutting and locking the door behind them. You sat at your computer chair as the boys plopped onto your couch.

You told them what Harvey had drunkenly said, how he was staring at you like a wolf stares at their prey. 

“Well…what the fuck,” said Ben, the muscles in his jaw tightening and untightening, “should we go kick his ass?”

Kylo raised an eyebrow and shrugged, “meh, we haven’t ganged up on anybody since that one super eighth grader tried to force Matt to lick the urinal.” Matt looked over to Kylo with wide eyes, then turned his eyes to the floor.

“Idk guys, I have no idea where it came from. I text him like all the time, like, I’m in love with the guy, pretty much obsessed since I met him in senior seminar this year,” you stated, earning you an eye roll from Ben. 

“Ok well, idk, I didn’t really talk to anyone until Harvey became my friend. I have been following him around like a puppy for half a year and he hasn’t made a move, I thought he just wasn’t into me…”

You all sat in silence for a second when Kylo awkwardly broke it with, “Well anyways, my parents bought you a ticket to California cause there’s no way a college student could afford one at these last minute prices.” 

Your eyes teared up at the gesture, and possibly because you needed to cry out of confusion, hurt, or whatever else this feeling was. Ben laughed. 

“That tool is totally jealous that you hang out with us,” he said shaking his head,” I bet he didn’t even really care about you until he saw some competition.”

Your eyes were really watering now. The idea that your feelings for Harvey over the past year were unrequited until the Solo’s came around made you angry. You had been there for Harvey during the bullshit, waking up in the middle of the night to pick him up from bars, supporting him when he failed exams, letting him rant about his fucked up parents back home…

You were the ultimate best friend to him, despite how badly you wanted to be more. 

You stood up quickly to hide your tears and began to tidy up your desk. 

You heard the swish of Matt’s bubbly coat and the soft crinkle of paper. He got up from the couch and walked over to you.

“y/n, take this and don’t lose it! We’re going to have a blast, trust me, my mom throws the best cocktail parties. Ben’s been stealing drinks from them since he was like, 13,” at the mention of this, you smiled against your hurt and wiped away a rogue tear. 

When you turned around, all three boys were standing, looking around the room. 

Ben broke the sweet moment by turning to Kylo, “Hey dude what’s it like to finally be in a girls room?”

Kylo pushed Ben with both hands towards the door, Ben chuckling at his own joke. 

“Later, kid!” smiled Ben.

“Yeah, see you soon y/n” said Kylo .

“Remember, only 3 ounces of liquid in a carry on!” yelled Matty. 

~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've decided to head to California with the boys, but as much as you thought you prepared, life throws you a curve ball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading loveys'! 
> 
> I am just having fun with this chapter, so let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> Enjoy (:

Three nights came and went with you carefully preparing your suitcase. You had to text the boys multiple times to ask what it was like in California and how people dressed. Ben insisted that all women were naked at all times, and I’d stand out if I wore clothes. The other two were more helpful, to say the least.

The morning of your flight, you awoke to the hum of your phone on vibrate, the triplets texting the group message incessantly.

WAKE UP!

Don’t forget to unpack all your clothes, nudist!

Did you have your coffee yet?

Bring a good book for the flight.

Bring some advil!

These were just a small portion of the texts flowing in, and you could barely register it all through your grogginess.

You had planned your flight outfit, switching between comfort and class, settling with leggings and a nice sweater.

You showered the night before to reduce the amount of time it would take to get ready, but when you looked in the mirror your hair was sticking up on one side.

God damnit.

You shuffled to your vanity, yawning. You turned on the lights and started to get ready.

Matt had called you a few times while you were getting ready to remind you of little things here and there. Mainly not to forget your ticket. Once you felt satisfied, you fluffed your hair, zipped up your jacket and grabbed your heavy suitcase.

The triplets agreed to drive to the airport. Kylo sported a black mockneck as he appeared around the corner or his all black Jeep. You had forgotten how wealthy the family was.  
You whistled at the car as Kylo opened the trunk for your luggage. He smirked and patted the car gently. “The only woman I’ll ever love,” he said admiringly.

You saw Matt in the front seat with a checklist, probably checking off events of the morning as they happened.

“You have your ticket, y/n?” he asked cautiously. You giggled and pulled it out of your coat pocket as Kylo lifted your bag, grunting.

“Sorry Ky, I just couldn’t decide so I brought it all!” you said looking into his unamused face.

Ben was in the backseat, already passed out against the window with his mouth open lazily.

“I’m back there with that?” you said gesturing towards Ben. Kylo smirked and nodded, “It’s only temporary, I’m sure he won’t fart in his sleep too much since the airport is only 30 minutes away.”

You made a face at this idea as you walked over to the opposite side of the backseat, sliding in next to Ben.

He made a little noise as if he might have felt your movement but went right back to his sleepy breath.

The ride to Boston Logan was seamless. By some miracle, the traffic was minimal. You were looking out your window towards the traffic on the opposite side as you felt the seat shift beneath you as Ben began to lie down in your lap. You looked down at his face, his lips pouty and his eyes closed peacefully. You didn’t want to move as he was sleeping, but you had the urge to stroke his hair. Your hand came to his forehead and just stayed there, his arm came up to rest on your leg.

Shortly after, you had gone through the minimal airport traffic to the parking garage. You had gone up a few levels when Kylo spotted an in and effortlessly swooped into the spot.  
You ruffled bens hair and he roused awake, yawning and stretching, nuzzling your lap as he did so.

“are we there yet,” he said sleepily, opening one eye towards you.

“Yup, and you drooled all over my very expensive leggings,” you joked. Ben smiled and slowly rose, wiping his face and eyes of sleep. Stepping out into the cold after the cozy ride was assaulting.

You shivered as you all made your way into the airport, the sound of prerecorded voices giving out directions. Once you entered the area where you were to check your bag, you saw the line of people waiting to get their boarding passes.

“We better get in line before it takes us two hours just to check these things,” Kylo exclaimed. You saw Matt check off an item on his list out of the corner of your eye. Ben ran ahead of everyone to try and fit his carry on in the container, it was too big.

“Damn!” he whispered, “looks like I’ll have to throw out the sex toys.” He shrugged and both Kylo and Matt chuckled as you rolled your eyes. He flipped his hair out of his eye and took his place in line. You towed your heavy bag up to meet all of them, your pre-flight excitement building.

You all talked amongst yourselves, the line moving person by person, slowly snaking your way to the front. Matt kept double checking that you had everything and simultaneously crossing things off his list. Kylo was staring moodily at a woman who was dressed in all black with a low pony tail.

Matt, Kylo and Ben were called forward at the same time. You hung back as you watched them all hand over their ticket to receive a boarding pass. Finally, with Matt finishing first, you were called over to his receptionist.

You handed over your ticket and heaved your bag onto the scale, watching the woman punch in your data. She started to scowl and took a lot longer to process your boarding pass. All the triplets had made their way to the TSA line but you were still standing there, bag unchecked and no boarding pass.

“I’m..very sorry Miss but…it seems they overbooked your flight to California today…I am looking for a way around…”she continued to click around on her keyboard as panic began to rise in your belly.

“So it looks like the next available flight heading to this airport is in five days…”she said cautiously.

You looked over towards the triplets anxiously and Ben raised an eyebrow. You saw him lift up the tape creating the line, squat under it and jog over to you.

“What’s up kid, somethin wrong?” he said looking between you and the woman. The woman explained to him what she had told you and Ben’s demeanor changed. “Well there must be something you can do, she’s small, she can count as her own carry on!” he stated to the woman, his charm not translating.

“I’m sorry sir, there’s nothing I can do except book her on the flight in five days.”

Ben looked at the ground, biting his lip for a few moments until he blurted out, “Alright then, I’d like to sell you back my ticket, and hers.”

You looked at him, your eyebrows coming together.

The woman looked at the computer, then back to him. “Sir I’ve already checked your bag, it’s on the way to your plane-“

“Go get it, it’s the holidays. This girl is not going to spend 5 days at an airport alone just to fly with your guys. Retrieve my luggage, I’d like to cancel my flight. Hers too.” The way he presented his demands made him seem much more powerful than he was.

The woman called someone over the phone to grab whatever bag Ben’s was and the bring it to the check in. After a few more punches, she handed over the money for the flights, in cash, to Ben. She assured him his bag would be available at the checkin within 30 minutes.

Ben grabbed your bag and walked towards a bench, towing it behind him. He ran over to his brothers and began talking, waving his hands around. Kylo rolled his eyes and you could see him mouthing “no”.

You felt so shitty, like you were ruining their holiday, even if it wasn’t explicitly your fault. You wrapped your arm around your own waist, watching the brothers converse. You watched as Kylo reached into his coat pocket, stare at the item in his hand, and relinquish it to Ben. Matt had his pen and paper out, writing furiously. Ben ruffled Kylo’s hair and trotted back to you, smiling.

“What the hell should I do? Grab a hotel or something?” you asked anxiously.

“No way kid, we’re going on a roadtrip,” Ben bit his lip and swung Kylo’s keys to the Jeep seductively.

“Whoa whoa, I can’t ask you to do that Ben,” you said waving your hands back and forth.

“You’re not asking, I’m insisting. Plus, Kylo never lets me drive the Jeep, it’s about time,” he said deviously. 

Kylo and Matt turned to the both of you at the bench and waved before disappearing through security. Kylo mouthed something towards Ben that looked like “I swear to god”. 

After about 45 minutes, the woman at the front came walking up to you and Ben, heaving Ben’s suitcase. 

“Apologies for the delay,” she said in a fake tone. “Have a nice trip.” She turned and walked away, looking irritated. 

“Alright kid, it’s go time,” said Ben, slapping his hands to both thighs before standing. 

You weren’t sure how you felt about spending the next indeterminate amount of hours with Ben Organa-Solo, I’m a vehicle, headed across the country. But what other choice did you have at this point? 

 

You were sitting in the car as Ben was talking to his parents on the phone, pacing outside. From the smiles on his face, it was apparent that it was not a big deal. We’d be there before Christmas Eve, so we wouldn’t miss much. You saw Ben rolling his eyes and shortly after he was hanging up the phone. 

He jumped into the front seat and closed the door, immediately taking off his winter coat. As he adjusted the seat ever so slightly, he let out a drawn out moan. 

You looked at him quizzically. 

He smiled and chuckled when he saw your face. “Kylo has heated seats, I put mine on before I got on the phone and wooooooooow,” he groaned, putting his head against the seat. You laughed and searched for the button that turned yours on. Bens hand came to the button at the moment yours did. 

“How hot you want it, kid?” he said giving you a sideways glance. 

“Full force,” you began, “I want these buns toasted!”

You both burst out in laughter at how ridiculous everything was, feeling the blasts of air coming from the vents, not quite warm enough yet. 

Ben rubbed his hands together, trying to create some heat, occasionally blowing warm air into them from his mouth. 

After just a few minutes of settling in, you turned to the dash of the Jeep and scanned for the radio button. As soon as you found it on the touch screen, you pressed it. As soon as you did, a very low and airy voice permeated the vehicle, as well as smooth guitar and drums. 

“The XX,” you said with a tone of surprise, “ok Kylo, I see you!” You giggled as Ben twisted his face in revulsion. 

Ben raised his eyebrow, “You like this stuff?”

You began to mouth the words to the song, making sure Ben saw your angsty interpretive dancing along with the lyrics. 

Ben rubbed the bridge of his nose, emphasizing his disbelief. “Ok we’re not having this!”

He pulled his phone back out of his pocket and began to sync it with the Jeep. As soon as it connected with his phone, you looked over at him furiously searching Spotify. 

Soon, the sweet sounds of acoustic guitar filled your ears and Ben looked to you for assurance. 

Ben began to play the air guitar, accentuating certain notes and playing the role of a rock god.

He looked at you, still thinking about what song this was and who it was singing.

“Ohhhh my god y/n,” he gave in. “It’s ONLY Led Zeppelin, the greatest band of all time??”  
He rolled his eyes, smiling through his playful annoyance and throwing his hands on the gearshift, slowly backing out of the spot. “This is going to be an epic musical journey for you, so buckle up!”  
~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW. 
> 
> This is going to be a bumpy ride!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the road with Ben, and things are a lot more complicated than you had anticipated!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright fellers, it's low key SO hard not to just make them do it but gotta build up, am i right? STAY TUNED

After having gone to a nearby gas station to stock up with snacks, you and Ben were on the road. You were sitting with your legs crossed in the passenger seat, casually nibbling on the bag of popcorn you purchased. Ben, on the other hand, was wolfing down gummy bears, humming his favorite parts of songs that came and went.

Occasionally he’d get excited about a certain song that came up and he’d quickly turn up the speakers.

“This one is gonna blow your mind,” he said, still chewing on the remnants of gummy bears in his teeth.

You couldn’t separate a smile from your face. From scenery playing out in your window to the constant energy erupting from Ben, this was already an exciting trip. You felt jitters thinking about meeting the Organa-Solo’s parents. You kept thinking about how generous they were for getting you a ticket on that plane, just because their sons loved you and wanted you to be there for Christmas.

You also started to feel some anxiety about the gifts you had gotten the boys and their parents. You always wondered if what you did was good enough, but not even that could ruin the moments unfolding before you. You reached for your coffee in the cup-holder, welcoming the warmth. You knew the trip would be long and tiresome, so you sipped the roasty black liquid liberally, waiting to feel to caffeinated and refreshed. College had made an addict out of you.

On and on, the Massachusetts roads went from busy city highways to frosted over cranberry bogs and so much more in between. 

Ben filled the passenger side of the car, one elbow resting on the Jeep door and his other hand holding the right side of the steering wheel. He was watching the road intently, occasionally chiming in to certain parts of the song playing. Eventually you two were silently making your way across the state, listening to the music.

It wasn’t an uncomfortable silent, it was the kind that soothes you. You felt your body leaning towards the door next to you, watching dead trees zoom by like a grey-brown blur. Soon, your eyes felt heavy and you felt your ability to keep them open go out the window as the seat beneath you kept you warm and comfortable….

Sleep hit you and you began to dream. You saw quick flashes of memories, distorted and foggy. You saw yourself in the snow with Ben after your snowball fight. You saw Harvey walking towards you with his fists clenched, smelling like cheap gin and cologne. You saw yourself as a kid, looking up at the Solo triplets...you wrapped your hand around Matt’s wrist and jumped up and down, pleading for him to give you a piggy-back ride. Your vision flashed to a mountainside, then to your legs, which were on fire…

You woke suddenly, feeling Ben’s hand on your knee. He was gently shaking your leg back to consciousness, your eyes batting open to the brilliant view of the early evening. Ben’s eyes were a little red as they flicked between you and the road.   
“Sorry kid, need to refuel and stretch, didn’t want you to miss an opportunity for another coffee,”he said in a low voice. 

You sat up against your seat and took in your surroundings. The music was so low it might not have been on if you weren’t paying attention. You immediately felt sorry, Ben must have been fighting his drowsiness by how quiet and cozy the car was. 

“Beeeeennnnnn, i’m so sorry for passing out,” you said in a low sleepy voice, “I owe you big time!” You stretched out your arms as Ben pulled into the gas station and next to a pump. A yawn seized your body and you gave into the involuntary comfort. Ben was smiling, looking a little sleepy with his slightly bloodshot eyes. 

As the car stopped, you threw your jacket on at the same time as Ben and got out. You had forgotten how cold the world was right now with how toasty and comfortable the car was. Your body shivered against your will and you began briskly walking toward the gas station. You looked back at Ben who was leaning against the Jeep, the fuel nozzle at his side. He was looking at you. He gave you a small, crooked smile as you walked away. 

You went to the bathroom. Inside the gas station was a familiar coffee shop. You scoured the menu, trying to think of what Ben might like. When you settled on two very strong coffees, you started your walk back outside. Right before you opened the door, you saw a pamphlet for the town you were in. 

Philadelphia. 

Ben had driven all the way to Philly with the music turned down, the heat on his face, and no bathroom breaks. You ran outside to the Jeep, idle gas creating clouds behind the car. 

“Ben!” you managed while opening the car door. You shuffled inside to the passenger seat, putting your new coffees in the center console and discarding the old cups. “You drove ALL the way here? And didn’t wake me once to give you a break? What the hell! You don’t have to do that to yourself! I feel so fucking awful that you have to drive me across the country…”

“Y/n,” Ben laughed, “it’s seriously fine...I’ve peed in bottles so many times! I’m just lucky that you drank all your water or we might not have made it this far!” 

You looked around for the water bottle that you picked up in Boston. Nowhere to be found. “BEN! You peed while i was in the car? EW oh my god!” You were grossed out but also dying laughing. Ben’s hearty laughter filled the jeep and you both looked at each other. 

“Well what happened to your sweet disposition, kid?” Ben’s chuckles slowed and he smiled at you. His eyes were like amber in this light. The sun was going down, casting everything in a pink-orange glow.   
You looked up at his smile, milky white against his lush, red lips. The winter had taken a bite at his skin, causing little pink dry patches at his cheeks. You felt you might have stared too long, his eyes averting to the coffee in the the center. 

“You’re wicked gross, that’s all,” you said in voice that was not at all grossed out. “I uh, i can drive this next stretch. You deserve a little naptime.”

He grabbed the coffee and took a careful sip. “You can drive, but i’m not tired. I actually found a really nice BnB in Virginia just 5 hours from here. If you can be interesting enough for that long, i might be able to help keep you awake!” He winked at you and began to get out of the car so you could switch places. 

“No wonder i fell asleep so quickly,” you bantered, “absolutely NOTHING interesting to keep my attention!”

You crossed paths on the way to the vehicle, Ben’s hands coming to your waist to tickle you. You pulled your body inwards, giggling, trying to hold your arms down. Ben’s fingers seemed to be stronger than your own arms so you were stuck, convulsing with laughter into Ben’s chest. After some curse words escaped your mouth and Ben decided he’d tortured you enough, he mercifully retracted his hands. You tried to catch your breath, all while giving Ben a glare. 

“Oooooooh you’ll pay for that,” you panted. 

Ben chuckled and walked around you, slipping into the passenger seat. 

The first few hours of the drive were spent discussing expectations of the Solo household, all of which Ben had simply crushed due to his mischievous nature. He was telling you stories about growing up with famous parents, how sharing everything with not only one but two brothers was torture, and how often his parents mixed them up. You divulged your own family history, then told him about how you used to sneak out, how you stole your parents alcohol into your room through water bottles, and your overall teenage rebellion. 

After about another hour, Ben had you pull over so he could pee. You were on a winding road in Virginia, trees enveloping the road, far away from nearby conveniences. Cautiously you pulled over, dimming your lights and stretching your arms. Ben rushed out to pee and disappeared in the line of the trees, snow crunching beneath his feet as he walked away. You instinctively locked the doors, feeling creeped out at darkness that swallowed the area. 

You pulled out your phone as a distraction, attempting to scroll through social media but your service was minimal in this area. After a few minutes you closed your phone and looked in the direction of the trees. Why was Ben taking so long…

Starting to feel a bit of panic creep into your veins, you honked your horn two times to get his attention. Staring hard at the tree line, hoping to discern his silhouette, you leaned in towards the passenger window. 

Just then, Ben popped into view, shouting and wrenching the door handle. His screams to scare you sent your body upwards as you jumped and screamed. The adrenaline in your veins from Ben’s joke caused you to feel bold, releasing your seatbelt and swinging open the door to go beat the shit out of him. 

“Ben--fucking--SOLO!” you huffed, snow crunching beneath your shoes. You reached a convulsing Ben, his large frame crumpled against the car in debilitating laughter. “I’m gonna--fucking kill you!” Your fists began to pound into his arms, chest, stomach. He was now laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe. 

“You should’ve ----seen-----your face!” he managed between gasps. Your arms were getting tired as they attempted to beat Ben senseless. His coat was only half zipped and you were trying to hit him where there wasn’t padding. His laughter continued, but in a lighter more exhausted way. As soon as your punches wore out their welcome, his massive hands came up to his chest in an effort to round yours up. 

“You know,” he said as if restraining you was as easy as breathing, “i do believe domestic abuse is frowned upon.”

Your arms stopped resisting his grip on you. “Yeah well scaring the shit out of defenseless people is also frowned upon, amongst a million other things you do, but that doesn’t stop you!”

He smiled widely down at you, your wrists in both of his hands. He was leaning against the Jeep, now realizing, you were leaning your body on his. 

“What can i say,” he said in a sultry voice, “I come from a long line of scoundrels.”

His grin became more of a smolder as you stared into each other’s eyes. The chill of the night nipped at your cheeks, but the rest of your body turned to magma. You didn’t have much experience with guys, but you couldn’t deny the feeling between your legs as Ben gazed down at you. His grip softened on your wrists and his breath quickened. The low rattle of the exhaust from the car was the only sound around. His breath escaped his mouth like smoke and your insides began to panic. 

You swallowed and pulled your hands away from him, taking a step back. There was no way you were about to make out with Ben Solo, THE Ben Solo. You were wrapped up in the moment, that was all. You were saving that moment for Harvey, and you had been this whole year so far. 

You cleared your throat. “Well this scoundrel is about to get abandoned, i’m freezing.” You began walking to the other side of the car again, catching your breath. How had you lost it in the first place?

Once you were both back in the car, the only sounds made were the swish of your coats or the buckle of your seat belt. You turned on the lights and put the car in drive. 

As you were driving, Ben continued to play DJ, picking songs that were peppy and motivating. Even though the songs were fast, you felt your body giving in to some drowsiness. You had been driving for 45 minutes in what seemed like the wilderness, but now the scene was changing. Before you laid a small town between two rather large hills covered in trees. 

The town was twinkling with lights, even at this hour. You looked over at Ben whose mouth was hanging open lazily. 

“Hey mouth breather,” you teased, “is this the place?” Your index finger was pointing towards the town growing closer before you. 

“Huh? Oh yeah i think so, lemme check my nav,” he said, dazed. 

You glanced back over at him, rubbing sleepiness from his eyes and biting the corner of his mouth. You were still contemplating what had happened back at the tree line. You felt confused at your bodies betrayal of your oath, that you’d never fall for any of the triplets.

Your head went immediately to Harvey, thinking of his trip home. You were wondering what he was doing right now, whether he had picked up his phone to text you, but changed his mind. You felt upset all over again that Harvey may have been stringing you along all this time, knowing how you felt, but didn’t act on it until he felt threatened. You were reminded again of how scary he was, towering over you in your room, drunk and upset. It felt like the acid in your stomach would dissolve your whole torso. 

You hadn’t realized all the time that had passed, how much of the town you had already gone through. You were following Ben’s commands, “Take that right...stay on this road for a few...not this left but the next one”.

Soon, Ben’s GPS was alerting him that we were .4 miles away. Ben looked around for a minute as you kept on going straight, craning his neck to find it in the dark. “Oh!” he breathed, “it’s that one there, second to the last with the string lights out front.”

Ben definitely sounded tired now. You felt bad that he had stayed awake the last hour, despite you living inside your own thoughts and confusion in silence. 

You slowed the Jeep and parallel parked in front of the house. You looked out the passenger window to an old victorian style home with a short fence and string lights hanging between trees. Next to their mailbox, there was a sign painted in cursive lettering ‘The Harrison Bed and Breakfast”.

“Ooooh you taking me somewhere fancy?” you cooed at Ben. 

He chuckled, zipping his coat up to head outside. You mimicked him, hopping out of the Jeep and stretching your legs.You looked back to the house as you rounded the vehicle, taking in it’s size up close. It was a rather beautiful home, the shadows of people getting up to let you in dancing in the window. Ben grabbed his duffel bag and your suitcase, crunching some frosted leaves on his way to the front door. 

You were both greeted by a stalky, bearded man whose cheeks were rosy from the warmth inside. Ben showed him the reservation on his phone and the man picked up both bags, urging us to follow him to the room. 

You hadn’t really put it together that you and Ben would be sharing a room, but the further back into the house you went, you started to panic. You passed lovely china cabinets, paintings of the rolling hills framed in the hallway, and multiple bedroom doors. 

You reached the end of a hallway where the owner pulled out his ring of keys and swung open the door for Ben, giving him a copy of the key for the night. He exchanged words with Ben, smiled at you then walked back down the hall past you. 

Ben had to kneel down slightly, so not to hit his head on the door frame. There was a soft glow coming from the bedroom as you rounded the frame and stepped inside. You closed the door behind you, and turned around as Ben began to quietly rearrange your things.

The room looked fit for royalty. Every intricate detail of the old house remained intact, including precise carving of wood around the windows to the clawfoot tub resting in the bathroom. The curtains in the room draped heavily against the frosty glass, velvety and long. 

There was a king sized bed, complete with a giant velvet headboard and wooden canopy. Ben hung his jacket on a hook near a bookcase and began to take off his shoes, sitting on a bench at the end of the bed. 

“You gonna come all the way in, kid?” he said giving you raised eyebrows. 

You nodded, looking around again and whispered, “What the hell Benny, is this prom night and you’re trying to get laid!” You laughed quietly, feeling the wood of the bed as you came to sit next to Ben to take your shoes off. As soon as you had taken them off and pulled your PJs out of your suitcase, Ben was already in the bathroom brushing his teeth.   
“Hey Ben, i’m changing real quick so don’t be a creep,” as soon as you said this Ben’s head popped out of the bathroom door frame, his toothbrush in his closed mouth. 

He started muttering something indiscernible when you picked up your shoe and threatened to throw it at his exposed head, which disappeared quickly. You laid your clothes out on the bed, looking behind you again before you took off your shirt and pants. You decided on shorts tonight because the room was toasty, and you hated being hot in your sleep. You unclasped your bra, shrugging it off your shoulders and feeling your breasts bounce free. 

Your tank top was white. Fuck. 

You didn’t have time to care at this point, so you threw it over yourself as you heard the water shut off in the bathroom. Just as you pulled the hem past your waist, Ben was shuffling into the room. 

Quickly turning around, “You couldn’t just give me like 3 minutes i mean--” your words got stuck in your mouth. Ben was stalking over to you, shirtless, running a hand through his hair. His broad shoulders and toned chest took up so much space in your view, when your eyes ran down his torso, abs softly peaking underneath his smooth skin. He had a dark happy trail that led your eyes right to the waistband of his boxers, which he so conveniently wore low on his body. 

You turned away, the flesh in your cheeks burning a little warmer than you’d have liked for him to see. “Uh how about a warning next time?!” You held your elbow as your hand shielded the side of your face exposed to Ben. You heard him laugh as he settled himself onto the bed, patting the blanket.

“Why would i warn you if i can get eye fucked like that any time I want?”

Now your cheeks were really red. “Eye fucked? In your dreams, Solo,” you said irritated, moving your hand from your face to look back at the bed. 

Ben was leaning against the headboard, one arm behind his head and the other resting on his stomach. Your eyes lingered on the bulge in his checkered boxers for a split second then back up to his face.

“Oh i know when someone is checking me out, Y/N, and you definitely were,” he said dramatically, chuckling. “Ok, ok, honesty hour, you’re the one who needs to help me out cause that white tank top is going to get us both in trouble”. 

You looked down at your tank top, your nipples peeking through the soft fabric. Your arms immediately came up to your chest and you rolled your eyes. “You close your eyes right now Ben Solo!”

You quickly shuffled over to the bathroom where you could shut the door and breathe for a moment. You could hear Ben’s quiet chuckles as you disappeared to brush your teeth. You had splashed some cold water onto your face before you walked out, making sure all the lights were off. When you made it back into the bedroom, Ben’s hands were covering his eyes.

Your arms were back up at your chest, protecting you from his view. You slowly walked over to your side of the bed, eyeing his still body as you got closer. 

“Thanks for your chivalry, but you could’ve just closed your eyes,” you whispered. You pulled back the heavy comforter of the bed and slipped in, settling your weight into the mattress. You pulled the blanket over yourself, adjusted your pillow and looked over to Ben who was still lying there in the same position. You slowly placed your hand on top of one on his face and pulled back to reveal a sleeping Ben. You laughed quietly at his exhaustion, put his hand back where he had left it, and reached over him to turn the light off.

As you laid back down against your pillow, you paid attention to the slow even breaths coming from Ben. It reminded you of the pull of the tide at the coast, making you feel cozy and warm. You closed your eyes, and as quick as you had, you began drifting off to sleep…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me comments and tell me what you think!


	4. Santa Fe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing on your journey with Ben is not making anything more clear!

You woke to the soft movement of Ben close behind you. 

Rolled over onto your side, you felt the warmth of Ben’s massive body engulfing you from behind. His arm was nestled in between your arms, holding you against him. You blinked the sleep away from your eyes, taking in a deep breath, not wanting to move. You felt Ben nuzzle his nose into the nape of your neck, taking in the scent of your shampoo with his soft breath. 

Carefully, you lifted his arm off of you and swung your legs over the bed. You replaced his arm onto the bed gently as you got up and walked to the bathroom. Still groggy but feeling wired from the closeness with Ben, you closed the bathroom door and began to strip. You turned on the shower, pulling the curtains around the tub closed. 

As you showered, you went through the last 24 hours in your mind. You couldn’t ignore the butterflies in your belly thinking of Ben scooting over to wrap you up in his arms, both of you sleeping well through the night. Then you remembered Harvey.

You had been anticipating that Harvey might ask you to join him and his family in New Hampshire for skiing this winter, but no dice…

After you felt totally clean and rinsed all the conditioner from your hair, you turned off the shower and wrapped a plush towel against your body. You stared in the mirror, your bare face clouded by the steam on the glass. You got your clothes on in the bathroom, sporting a pair of black leggings and an oversized hunter green sweater. 

You opened the door and felt the cooler air of the room calm your fiery skin. You were scrunching your wet hair into a towel when the room came into view. 

Ben was leaning over a tray on the now-made bed, repositioning a tea kettle next to a couple of small mugs. He was wearing a dark grey pullover and almost-black jeans. The sun coming into the room revealed all the tiny dust particles dancing around in the air as you moved closer to him. 

“Morning y/n, I ran out front and got us some food to eat in here before we leave. They only had tea, so i hope that works for you,” he turned around to face you. When he laid eyes on you, he gave you a big cheesy Ben smile. “I also got pancakes AND french toast so we can both eat off of each other’s plates...plus i grabbed like 12 extra syrup packets cause i know you’ll die with insufficient maple supply.”

You laughed at Ben’s thoughtfulness. 

“Well good sir, shall we?” You pointed toward the bed like a game show girl and he chuckled at you. You both ran over to the bed, sat cross legged in front of each other and began eating. You noticed that eye contact between the two of you was a little more difficult this morning. 

You both spent the entire breakfast making dumb faces at each other and making jokes with food in your cheeks. You ate as much as you could, sipped your tea and began packing up. Ben had you go out to the car to start packing up some stuff so he could finish up with the owner of the home. You walked out to the dazzling view of a bright sun turning some melted snow into small piles of glitter.

You got to the Jeep and began loading it up with your bags, Ben waving goodbye to the homeowner on his way out. He zipped up his jacket as he approached you, squinting from the light. “You ready to get this show on the road?”

You smiled back at him and walked over to the passenger side, you’d let him drive the first leg this morning. 

You both decided to stop for coffee before continuing your journey south, so after you had acquired them, you both sat in the Jeep happily sipping on your drug of choice. 

The day rolled by just like the miles, you and Ben switching off as driver when you needed to. Plenty of snacks and coffees were consumed while the car hummed with acoustic rock and Ben’s tapping on the steering wheel.

You managed to find a hotel at the end of the night in a dimly lit city. The outside of the hotel was all made of wood and it looked quaint, but quite frankly you couldn’t give a shit. The miles and hours of sitting had caught up to your bones and you were ready for sleep. This hotel room had a double bed room available, and you heard Ben opt for that one. 

As you rolled your bag toward the hotel room, the numbers on each outside door becoming difficult to differentiate, you felt a vibration in your pocket. 

As you settled in the room at last, you had gone to the bathroom to brush your teeth, smuggling in your phone as if it were forbidden. 

You opened up your messages to find quite a few texts. It seemed that you must have been out of cell range for a large portion of the day. 

Kylo and Matt blew up the group chat, sending photos of the massive christmas tree set up in the Solo household. They asked how the trip was going, if we were safe, and around what time we might make it there. You watched as the screen moved upwards as Ben replied to the boys, from the other room. 

“Stopped in the Ozarks for the night, been a really long day. Kylo, your jeep’s real tired from how hard y/n and i have been tag teaming her. Night!”

You laughed out loud in the bathroom at Ben’s text and immediately covered your mouth to stifle the giggles. 

You opened your messages back up to reveal a text from none other than Harvey. 

“Sorry about the other night y/n, i don’t have any explanation for the way i behaved. Miss you, little dove.”

As soon as the sentence ended in a period, you held your phone to your chest and closed your eyes. Harvey texted you, using his nickname for you at that, to tell you that he missed you. Your eyes searched for nothing around the bathroom. You were confused, but something in you wasn’t feeling for Harvey at the moment. 

You left the bathroom to head to bed, the heaviness in your eyes causing you to blink more incessantly. You looked over at Ben who was settled into his bed, the covers pulled up to the middle of his chest, his phone in his face. You immediately began to wonder who he might be texting, who had stolen his attention tonight. Then you remembered that it was an ungodly hour of the night, and you needed some sleep. 

You pulled back your own covers and crawled into the bed. It seemed colder here in this bed, much more so than when there was actual snow on the ground at the last state you slept in. 

Ben yawned goodnight to you and you both reached for your lights. As soon as the room was dark, you began to toss and turn. You couldn’t turn off your mind, thinking of Harvey, senior year, growing up with no friends to having this amazing group of people in your life. You began to reminisce the first memories with the triplets. You also thought about how sure you were that you and Harvey would be married the summer after graduation...then you shook your head as if to shake the thoughts out of your ears. 

You laid awake, eyes fluttering between darkness and staring at the ceiling. It must have been an hour, but the silence in the room was almost deafening. There was no passing of cars, no fans or AC in the room to fill the gap, just you and Ben. You tilted your head to the side, looking to see if Ben was sound asleep. 

To your surprise, he was also looking up at the ceiling, one of his arms behind his head. You turned back quickly and heard his blankets move around. 

“Hey,” he whispered cautiously.

You contemplated whether or not you’d respond, but felt yourself giving in. 

“Hi,” you replied, just as quietly. 

“Do you ever wonder who shuts the door on the bus, after the bus driver gets out?”

You laid there, fully rocked by the question that was coming out of his mouth. You turned to each other and began dying laughing. You turned onto your side, as did he and you began discussing the possible answers to his absolutely ridiculous question. 

“You would be awake at the fucking witching hour, thinking about this shit,” you whispered after the laughter died down. 

He remained on his side, facing you. You could see a small grin stretching across his mouth. “Gotta keep everyone on their toes.”

“Well is that what you were really thinking?” 

“What do you mean, absolutely that’s what i was thinking!”

“Well i find it hard to believe that is what has kept you up after a billion miles of road today, you should be incapacitated by now..”

“Ok if that’s the case, tell me why you’re still up, kid,” he looked at you earnestly. 

You thought about it for a second, “if i told you everything on my mind, you’d be up til sunrise.”  
He chuckled, “Well with these ears, i’m nothing if not a listener.”

You couldn’t help a smile spreading across your face. “Is it just me, or does this comforter feel super scratchy?” You began to lift up the layers of bedding to find the source of your discomfort. 

“Nah, my side is pretty comfy,” he said, lying flat on his back once more, “You can take my blanket if it will help you sleep.”

You stopped moving for a moment, feeling bold enough to make a bad decision. Maybe it was the desperation for sleep...that was what you were going to chalk it up to tonight. Slowly you rose from your bed, tossing the blankets to the side. You stretched your arms as you took the few steps over to Ben’s bed. 

“How can i assist you, miss,” he whispered, “wait is this the part where i get murdered and thrown in the lake down there?”

You smiled, “scoot over jerk.”

Ben moved out of the way so quickly, you almost laughed. He held the blanket open for you to slide in, keeping it above you until you were settled. You laid flat on your back, but he had his body turned towards you. 

You sighed contently, “Mmmm much better.”

You felt the heat from his body radiating to you, reminding you of that cozy morning at the last house. After about 20 minutes, you felt your body becoming heavy. Ben had just rolled over to his back when you decided to follow him, positioning your body under his arm.

You laid a hand on his chest and invited the sound of his slow heartbeat, strong and comforting, as you both drifted off to sleep once again.   
~

When you woke up the next morning, Ben was drawing the curtains in the hotel room to a bright, sunny morning. You watched him begin picking out his clothes for the day, smelling a t-shirt. He was most likely unaware that you were awake because when you laughed at him, he jumped.

“Jesus---fuck, y/n!”

“Good morning, t-shirt sniffer,” you teased. 

The sun bounced off of Ben’s pale skin, making him hard to look at. You closed your eyes and turned onto your back. 

“Morning kid,” he chuckled, “breakfast will have to be quick this morning, we slept in a little.” He smiled at you as he walked to the bathroom to take a shower. 

You got all of your clothes together, packed up the things you didn’t need and waited to shower. As soon as both of you had completed getting ready for the day, you headed down to the hotel breakfast where most everything was picked over. 

You rummaged through a basket of cereals. “Looks like raisin bran today, Benny boy!” You tossed him an individual package of the cereal and he caught it easily. 

“You know i’ll need more than one, toss me that thing of pops.”

You both found your way at the coffee station where you silently filled your cups with the darkest liquid they offered. After you had finished eating, Ben ran back to the room to grab your bags and you left the hotel. 

You had stopped quite a few times during the day, finding that this part of the country was the most difficult to drive through. Most of it was more dry than you were used to and the air still had a chill to it. 

You drank around four coffees each, and ended up buying a crossword puzzle at a random rest stop. You started to forget how many miles you were traveling as state signs came and went. You saw lake towns, trees, desert, cities and most all things in between. 

You were running out of ideas on a crossword question when you realized the sun was gone and there was no point in straining your eyes any longer. 

You had listened to all the Led Zeppelin albums and you took it upon yourself to connect your own phone to play music. You turned on one of your custom playlists, everything from Motown to Aerosmith, the Red Hot Chili Peppers to Nelly Furtado. 

You pressed shuffle and Alanis Morissette came through the radio, livening up the mood. 

You and Ben took turns singing parts of the song as you rolled down the highway towards Santa Fe. Even in the dark you could see the tall hills and foothills of mountains against the clear night sky. You had been driving for a little over 12 hours that day, so you decided to stop once more. Tomorrow, you’d need to wake up early to arrive at the Solo household at a decent time. 

Ben was rounding a corner when your eyes were diverted to a hacienda. The building was an amber orange and was glowing with string lights. Just past the hotel you could see the beginnings of a mountain, climbing into the sky. 

Ben looked at his phone for a moment to verify the address and slowly rolled up to the building. Outside, the path to the check in office was lit with a soft glow. As you parked and gathered your stuff, you stared at the desert flowers lining the path in awe. You loved the growth of flowers in harsh climates, they always ended up beautiful. 

When you walked into the hacienda, it was decorated with Native American pottery and cloth. Different patterns of quilts were hung on the wall and wooden furniture was at every corner. 

Ben was standing at the counter, speaking to the staff for a bit longer than he usually did. You looked over and saw him waving his hands, towering over the gentleman behind the desk. You caught the words ‘booked’ and ‘no fucking way’. You could tell Ben was irritated, so you walked over and asked if everything was ok. 

Ben was silent, staring at the man behind the desk with annoyance in his eyes. Then, he made a sudden movement and began walking out of the building. You looked to the gentleman and he mouthed, “i’m sorry”. 

You followed Ben back outside, his duffel bag over his shoulder. He was briskly walking towards the Jeep, unlocking it as he got a little closer. 

“Ben, what’s wrong?”

“Looks like we’ll have to improvise tonight, kid,” he said as he began to open the trunk of the jeep, shuffling some things around. 

You realized at that moment that he meant you’d need to go elsewhere to find a hotel. You were annoyed but also understanding, there wasn’t much else in this mountain town, and you just wanted some shut eye. You finally reached the jeep when he quickly took your bag and threw it in the back, telling you to hop in. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Hm, idk just yet,” he said while buckling his seatbelt, “looks like if we just go in this direction, we should hit some towns.”

You looked at the sign he was pointing at and nodded. You began your journey back on the road, the promise of a little hacienda stay disappearing behind you. You leaned your head against the seat of the car, feeling the drowsiness start to creep in. 

You looked over at Ben who was white knuckling the steering wheel on a deserted road. “You ok Ben?”

Ben yawned and rubbed one of his eyes, “you know what, i have an idea.”  
He followed the road for a little while longer then took a turn towards a darker area of the road. You weren’t paying much attention to the surroundings as your own sleepiness began to fade you in and out of awareness. You must have dozed off for a little while. You were startled as the hum of the jeep died and Ben got out of the car, closing the door quickly behind him. 

He opened the trunk and began moving stuff around, pulling stuff out of bags, lifting and shuffling things about. The grogginess in your body took a moment to overcome, but as you looked back, Ben had laid down the seats in the back and placed piles of clothes as pillows at the ends. He looked up at you, his eyes blood shot and looking grumpy. 

“It’s not much, but i don’t think i can drive another inch of that road,” he said bringing his eyebrows together.

You felt awful for falling asleep on him. “Ben! Lay down lay down,” you unbuckled your seatbelt, got out of the front seat and made your way to the back. As you looked around you, Ben had driven you to a mountainous area far away from cities or towns. You felt uncomfortable at the lack of noise around you, getting into the car quickly. 

Ben was adjusting his pillow of clothes. When you scooted in, ducking your head, you pulled the trunk closed. You felt the car lock as the door closed fully, and you turned to Ben as the lights began to dim. He was pulling on a safety blanket that he found in Kylo’s emergency kit. 

“Looks like we’ll have to get close again tonight, this thing is tiny,” he said lifting the dark grey material. 

You found a good spot to rest your body and he pulled a small portion of the blanket over you. You both passed out within a few short moments, the day falling away with the heaviness of sleep.   
~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STICK WITH IT BRETHREN! Thanks for reading <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my...
> 
> The feels?

The sun rise in the west cast the sky in melty colors of bluish purple to sherbet orange and pink. You blinked your tired eyes open to find some stars still peeking out in between the layers of color. You looked over to Ben who had managed to take his coat off and use it as more blanket while you had stayed in yours the whole night. The early morning brought light to the area you were resting in, showing off sand and clay colored rock surrounding you. You sat up a bit, rubbing your eyes. 

You crawled over your pillow of clothes and into the passenger seat. You zipped your jacket up all of the way and unlocked the car to step outside to pee. After you had done your business, careful to check that Ben wasn’t creeping, you leaned against the jeep and sighed. The air was crisp but not frozen, and there was something comfortable about the stillness now that there was light. 

You felt the jeep moving and you looked through a window to see him shuffling about, putting on his coat and opening the trunk. As he stepped out, you heard his zipper as he undid it. 

“Good morning, again” you called over the sound of his pee hitting the ground. 

He groaned back at you, protesting the fact that he was awake. 

You opened your phone, no service. It was 5:16 am and the sun was still making its appearance. Ben had finished up and began to head over to you, leaning against the vehicle as well. 

“Well,” he sighed, “worst sleep of my life i think.” He smirked at you and you returned a smile. 

“Sorry to hear it, i’ll drive all morning so you can get more rest,” you said looking at the ever changing sunrise.

Ben turned his eyes to the sky and put one heavy arm around your shoulders. “You’re a good road trip partner, you know that kid?”

You laughed under your breath, still staring at the sky.

“Never really got around to watching any of these myself,” he confessed, “then again, you’ll never catch me awake at this horrid time of day on purpose.”

His thumbs began to draw circles into your shoulder and you felt a tight knot in your throat. You tried to swallow it back, the redness in the sky increasing as clouds parted around the sun. “i think it’s worth it, i mean, this is the first thing you’ll see today.”

You turned to look up at him, but he was already looking down at you. His eyes were more amber than you’d ever seen them, the stubble on his face beginning to surface. The red hues cast by the sun draped you both in dreamy lighting as his eyes searched your face. You’d never seen Ben so raw, not an ounce of the obnoxious player you knew. His lips were slightly parted and a little chapped, the pink in his cheek remaining from the bite of winter. A soft, chilly breeze was causing strands of his hair to dance sweetly against his forehead and cheekbones. 

Just then, his massive hands came to your shoulders and began to move your body in front of him. He positioned you facing him, eyes flicking from the sky in the background to your face. His grip on your shoulder eased but he pulled you a bit closer, never letting go of you. He looked around awkwardly for a moment then said, “I think i’d prefer you to be in this morning’s view..”

His eyes settled on your cheek, then scanning your face, occasionally meeting your own.  
You felt a warmth in your stomach and butterflies knocking against your rib cage. His hands on your shoulders felt like anchors as the sweetness of his words threatened your knees to give. 

You opened your mouth to say something but stopped yourself. Ben was the only thing in your view that you cared about, and like a magnet, you began to close the space between your bodies. His hands slowly slid from your shoulders to your waist as you got closer, tilting his head and neck down to meet you. 

You were slowly standing on your tippy-toes, turning your head the opposite direction, heart beating out of your chest. Ben’s fingers on your body built pressure and you felt supported as your mouths got dangerously close. You could feel his breath against your lips as you paused, eyes closed and head tilted like a vampire’s victim. 

Ben’s right hand came off of your waist to behind your neck, his thumb pressing into your jaw bone. You came close enough that your noses were touching, both of you afraid to make sudden movements. Small amounts of breath that escaped you turned to smoke as it exited your parted lips. 

Ben’s hand on your neck did what you couldn’t, and closed the gap between the two of you. You felt his lips, warm and full, flush with your own, pausing in the moment to feel each other. He breathed in deep and began to move his mouth against yours, his hand guiding the back of your head where it felt good. You kissed back harder, needier than you knew you could. The past confusion you had about everything was thrown out the window as you crumbled into his arms, moving fluidly into each other. 

Your hands began to search his chest, gripping and pressing. You were acting as two opposing forces, pushing and pulling to get where you needed. The kisses were hot, Ben’s tongue pushing between your lips to massage yours. Your teeth clattered a couple of times in the passion of it all.

As you moved your bodies against each other, you felt a heat in your leggings from his jeans. Suddenly you were petrified of Ben. Here you were, surrounded by dust and orange-pink light, with the slight chill of a western morning in December, completely enveloped in Ben Solo’s arms. 

After around 5 minutes or so, your kisses slowed along with his. Letting the weight of your body pull your heels back to the earth, you two were separated. His arms still wrapped around you like a cocoon, keeping you warm and allowing you to feel safe. He looked down at you, his lips swollen from the intensity of your kisses, and smirked. 

“Wow,” he chuckled. 

You watched his crooked smile and allowed his eyes to linger a moment longer. You buried your head into his chest, groaning. You fake whined, “this isn’t happening.”

“Oh it’s happening,” he laughed, “and there’s nowhere to run! Looks like you’ll just have to stick with me, kid.”

He began running his hands up and down your back to comfort you. You began to giggle into his chest and suddenly pushed off of him. 

“Don’t we have somewhere to be, Mr. Solo?”

“Ah, yeah...something about going to see my family for the holidays...wanna ditch?” He raised his eyebrows in question and smiled back at you. “This place seems like it could be pretty cool, plus we can just live out of Kylo’s jeep til we figure it out..”

You punched him in the shoulder as he contemplated your lives as runaways. Acting surprised, he grabbed your wrists and pulled you in for another full kiss. You playfully punched him away as you walked around the jeep to the driver’s side. “Shall we hit the road, casanova?”

He tossed you the keys which you surprisingly caught. As soon as you were both buckled up and ready, you turned on the nav and began the last leg of your trip. 

Just like the day before, the route you drove through blended together in visions of asphalt and street signs. You had stopped a couple of times once you hit the southern California border to get some food, which turned out to be phenomenal. 

You were heading towards a mountainous terrain, the regular busy roads breaking into deserted, rougher territory. You drove for what seemed like years, winding and twisting away from civilization. Ben insisted that he drive the rest of the way as the roads were unclear and a bit more dodgy. 

You didn’t bring up the kiss once throughout the drive, feeling like you’d rather talk about anything else. He was forcing topics left and right to keep you both distracted, which worked out fine for you. 

You dozed off for a little. When you woke, you saw the sun setting behind thick trees on a very narrow road. Ben was positively inching by, craning his neck left and right. 

“It’s somewhere around here…” he muttered under his breath. 

You sat up to stretch, taking in the evening unfolding around you. Ben took a sharp left and began winding upwards. “This is it, thank fucking god!” He patted the wheel, taking a brief moment to look over at you. 

Stil groggy, you smiled back at him. You began to feel butterflies, realizing that you were moments away from meeting his family. Wait, why does that bother you? You started to groom your eyebrows a bit, pushing them into a good arch with your finger tips. 

“You look perfect,” Ben stated casually, “besides, pretty sure my mom and dad had a thing tonight so it’ll just be you me and my dipshit brothers.”

You calmed at the thought, chuckling at his last words. “You ever wonder if they think you’re the dipshit brother?” 

He gave a hearty laugh, “well, they’d be wrong as usual. I’m clearly the more handsome/suave one.” He looked away from the road to wink at you. 

You felt a little burning in your cheeks, “just keep your eyes on the road rico suave, let’s get there in one piece!”

After about 15 minutes of darkening skies, you arrived at a driveway thick with tall trees. Looking over at Ben taking off his seatbelt, you asked if this was it. 

“Oh yeah, lemme go get Kylie and Matt so they can help carry bags. Don’t lift a finger kid, i’ll be right back!” he winked at you and disappeared behind an unending rock formation in front of you. 

After about seven minutes of just sitting in the jeep, you unbuckled and got out to feel an unusual 60 degree wind. You felt too hot in your coat, so you took it off and slung it over your forearm, heading to the trunk to get your bags. 

“Don’t even think about it!” yelled a familiar voice. Matt was rounding the corner, his hands tucked in his jacket pockets. His smile at you in the dark made you feel comfortable again. As he got closer, you noticed Kylo heading towards you both as well. Instead of coming to the back, he got in the front seat and began fixating on his precious jeep to make sure everything was in order. 

Ben returned as well, jogging over to you and Matt. “Matty, it’s so good to see you..thought this one was going to kill us both by day one!” you joked. 

You embraced Matt, smelling a hint of gingerbread on his clothes. 

“Good to see you, i made some gingerbread muffins!” He began pulling bags out of the back, eyebrows furrowing at the sight of the seats being down. “Did you guys have to stay back here?”

You felt your cheeks go red, though thankfully no one would be able to see since the sun was practically gone.   
Ben came to the rescue, “Had a stomach ache, couldn’t sleep in the passenger seat so I put stuff down while she drove.”

Matt accepted the story and went on helping you with your bags. 

As you followed him , you rounded the corner of rock to find a warm orange glow…

Your eyes were met with the front of the Solo’s home. Built into the cliff, the front was all window, facing the view of the valley around them. Your eyes searched the top of the windows which revealed vaulted ceilings on the inside, adorned with chandeliers producing the orange lighting. 

You felt your jaw drop as Matt continued on, not giving it a second look. Ben caught up behind you and placed a hand on your lower back, giving you chills. 

He whispered, “Welcome”.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally made it to the Solo's residence; warm, cozy and absolutely stunning were the only words to describe it. You're not sure your will power will stand a chance against everyone's charm!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooooh so fluffy.

Ben continued to walk towards the front door, keeping his eyes on you, smiling. You looked from Ben to the house in wonder. It was truly a gorgeous sight, especially never seeing a home built into a mountain like this. You shuffled forward, slightly gripping the coat on your arm. 

Ben opened the door for you and as soon as you walked into the warm glow, the scent of fresh gingerbread muffins filled your senses, along with the scent of wooden furniture and apple spice. You took a deep breath and looked around the kitchen/ dining room/ living room hybrid. 

“Well...wow guys,” you huffed, “I could get used to this.”

Ben chuckled behind you, reaching out his hand to take your coat. As he was hanging it up, Kylo entered the house behind you. “Alright, everything seems to be in order…” stated Kylo, hanging up his keys as well. He strode over towards Matt, putting a hand on your shoulder as he passed. 

Matt held out a muffin towards Kylo, who took an modest bite, sitting on a stool at the kitchen island. Shortly, Matt was setting up a muffin display for everyone. “I’ve been waiting to have one of these babies since last winter!” He took a rather large muffin, bringing it to his nose and taking in the scent and the warmth. Immediately after, he sank his teeth into the muffin, rolling his eyes at the delicious bite. “Get over here, y/n, before they go cold! You need to tell me all about the trip.”

You sat at the kitchen island, nibbling on a delicious and warm gingerbread muffin with Matt and Kylo. You told them about each little town you had stopped in, how many gallons of coffee you had consumed and all the beautiful places you saw. The two boys went on asking questions when you realized Ben never came around for muffins. You looked around the front room, then back the guys, putting your chin in your hand. 

Matt spoke up, “our parents had a thing tonight, some sort of white elephant party like 45 minutes away, probably won’t be coming back tonight,” he wiped some crumbs off of his mouth, “I say we open the hot tub!”

You raised your eyebrows, “Whoa, you guys have a hot tub? Like outside?”

“It’s on the bottom level of the house,” chimed in Kylo, “we can give you a tour of the house if you want.”

You nodded your head in excitement, pushing yourself off of the stool. Both of the boys got up as well, heading towards an archway in the living room. As you walked with them, they pointed out a foyer with a grand piano and a couple of bookshelves. 

You walked towards the piano in awe, taking in the green inky darkness of your surroundings. You placed a hand on the wood of the piano, running your finger across its smoothness. 

“Careful, that’s Ben’s only love,” jokes Matt, letting out a little snort. 

You looked at Matt’s goofy smile and back to the piano, imagining Ben sitting there, letting his large hands dance across the keys. Pulling yourself out of the daydream, you joined the boys on a spiral staircase. 

You reached the level below the kitchen, the warmth of the house never dissipating. 

As you walked through ambient lit hallways, the boys pointing out family photographs hanging neatly on the walls, you found yourself feeling introspective. What must it be like to have a family this loving? You stared into the faces of the triplets as kids, wondering if they had known just how good they had it. Your eyes focused on the one to the left, face contorted with silly laughter, his short brown hair shining in sunlight. Ben seemed to have the same playful and mischievous demeanor then as he did now. 

You smiled to yourself, thinking of how forward he had been on your road trip. You bit your lip as you were reimagining the sultry kisses at the top of that hill. You thought of how badly you had wanted him, never realizing your own attraction towards him until you were really alone. Ben was not a safe bet, but he had proven to be so worth it…

Fingers were snapping in your face. 

Matt was laughing as he tried to get your attention, “Ok y/n seriously, do you need to go to bed? If not, i’d seriously suspect that you think we’re boring!”   
Your face went a bit pink at the guilt of offending Matty, he has never been anything but attentive and kind to you. “Ugh Matt, i’m so sorry, i feel like an asshole. Maybe i am just a bit too tired for fun tonight..”

“Did i just hear ‘too tired for fun’?” Ben rounded the corner in dark green swim trunks, his bare torso inviting your eyes to a feast. “No, i don’t think so princess, get your bathing suit cause we’re headed to the hot tub!”

You sighed in defeat, slightly wishing that you could head to bed alone to process your thoughts; however, Matt and Kylo both dropped their pants to reveal that they already had swim trunks on underneath. Kylo kicked his pants to a corner of the room and Matt followed, both of them laughing and heading towards another staircase at the end of the hall. 

Ben came up behind you and placed his hand on your lower back, sending electricity up your spine, then back down between your legs. “Want me to go get your bag?” He was smirking at you devilishly. You felt his massive hand at the small of your back, he began to rub up and down gently. Only a split second had gone by.

“I suppose this is where i say ‘yes please’ then you say, ‘too bad, you’re gonna have to go in underwear or be naked’?” you joked. 

“Well that would mean that my brothers would get to see that, I was kinda hoping that you would save that fun for me?” He was absolutely dripping with pheromones, you had to get away. 

“Oh Benny boy...keep dreaming,” you cooed, playfully shoving him away from you. You began to walk down the hall to go back upstairs and put on your swimsuit. The small of you back felt a little cold where his hand had left you. You turned your head back to look at him and he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, watching you. You shook your head and let out a small huff. 

As you were retracing your steps back to the front room where Matt had dropped your bag, you felt your heart go back to a normal rhythm. You were truly feeling Ben Organa-Solo. Like reeeeeallllly digging him. The feeling in between your thighs wouldn’t let you forget that. Not only did you want to bang him into the next millennium, but you wanted to plant your body right next to his and listen to his heartbeat, get to know him and stuff. 

What the actual fuck y/n.

How could you have forgotten Harvey? The man you swore yourself to the moment you laid eye on him? Yeah, y/n, what happened there?

You quickly came into the orange light of the first floor once more, locating your bag and pulling out the swimsuit you brought. 

You shuffled into a nearby bathroom and began to strip. Your mind wandered on Harvey and Ben while you were wiggling into your suit, not paying attention to the mirror in front of you. 

You always dressed modestly, so needless to say, your swimsuits were all pretty hushed up as well. One pieces were your go to, mainly because of functionality and coverage. It seemed as if by some divine punishment, you had packed the only swimsuit that made you feel disgusting. 

Your face contorted in anger and embarrassment at yourself. You could feel the stretchy material of the bathing suit gripping your ass, the seam hiking up your legs to reveal your hips. Your skin reacted as you did, goosebumps raising on every surface. Your eyes trailed upwards to the plunging neckline, revealing a little too much side boob and not enough cleavage. It was an off-white and burnt sienna striped number, and you were a little too curvy to pull it off. Your eyes immediately landed on your hips which bulged slightly out of the suit, your hands coming up to hide your imperfection. 

You grabbed a towel off of a rack in the bathroom and headed down to meet up with the boys, utter horror still playing at your stomach. 

You took a wrong turn but eventually found your way to the dimly lit stairway that the boys went down. You wrapped the towel around your waist, tying it at the side to protect yourself from any embarrassment. 

As you walked down the spiral stairway, the lighting changed from dim and orange, to rippling blue green and yellow lights dancing along your vision. You slowly entered the bottom floor of the Solo’s house, your feet touching the rough ground as your eyes took in the scene. 

A round hot tub was set into the earth, surrounded by gorgeous tiles of blue and green hues. The wall down here was similar to the top floor, made of all glass windows so you could view the scenery. There were string lights speckled across the room, the tiny bulbs glowing like fireflies. 

Your jaw was open, looking around and taking it all in. 

“Well look who finally made it,” said Kylo preparing drinks at a bar to your left. The bar was light up with similar string lights, all the glasses of liquid also backlit.

Ben and Matt were leaning against the bar, picking up bottles and reading the different labels. “Mom left us a few bottles of wine, hope you like Merlot!”stated Matt, happily. Kylo finished pouring the fourth glass of deep red wine, a smile playing across his face as he filled it to the brim. 

“Yeah, i think i’ll just take this one!” He took a large gulp of it, solidifying it as his drink. 

“Actually, I love Merlot!” you said excitedly. You shuffled over to grab a glass, careful not to undo your towel. You glanced at Ben as he and Matt reached for their wine as well. Ben glanced at you out of the corner of his eye as he, Matt and Kylo headed towards the hot tub.

Kylo was the first to get in. He was chattering away about the effects of heat and bubbles on the human body and how therapeutic it was to sit and relax. Matt began to tinker with the hot tub controls set into the earth, creating different lights and jet streams under the water. He got in after he was satisfied and began explaining how amazing it was that we have the technology for something like a hot tub. Ben got in sloppily, splashing water all over the boys and the ground around the tub. He reached back to grab his wine that he had set down and beckoned you over. 

“Get in loser, the water’s warm,” he chuckled.

Your face felt hot as you inched forward, never releasing the grip on your wine or taking off the towel. You bent down gingerly, carefully placing your legs into the hot tub feet first. You felt the sting of the water and then warmth through your toes. Like vanilla ice cream on a warm brownie, you felt yourself melting into the comfort.

The boys had begun a slightly heated conversation on who would get the house if their parents were to die. Each of them went back and forth, claiming their entitlements to their parents belongings.

Matt argued, “Well clearly this whole estate is mine, neither of you are man enough to keep up with the maintenance this beauty requires!”

Kylo threw his head back in laughter, mocking Matt. “Matt, the only way you’ll ever need a home this size is if you had to house all of your machines on tempur-pedics. No way, she’s mine!”

Matt splashed Kylo, removing his glasses as they had completely fogged up.

“Matt might be the only one who actually has a shot at a wife and kids though, gotta give it to him,” Ben said, receiving a glare from Kylo.

The corner of Matt’s mouth turned up slightly, happy to have his brother say something surprisingly sweet.

You had begun to swim your feet through the steaming, bubbling water, relaxing and giggling as the boys continued to daydream aloud. You realized you had finished your glass of wine when you looked down at an empty crystal glass, fogged up on the side closest to the water.

“What about you, y/n,” perked up Kylo, “what are you leeching from your parents when they kick the bucket?”

You squinted your face in thought and looked to the ceiling, “Hmmmm…probably the traumatic memories. Oh! And the abandonment issues!” You all laughed in sincerity, though you knew you had no material entitlements from your family. You had never even seen a home like this in person, let alone sit in its hot tub, massaging the ball of your feet against the jets.

Ben splashed a comforting hand onto your leg, giving you a gentle squeeze. “Don’t worry kid, we’ll split our riches with you. Mom and Dad have stocked this place with booze for the next thousand years, so that should keep us content.” He ran a hand through his hair, leaning back and sinking further into the water.

Somehow the conversation turned to what you all would do if there was a zombie apocalypse. After about 15 minutes of debating who would die first, you started to feel the red wine snaking through your veins and into your brain. You felt light hearted and giggly, laughing at damn near anything Ben said. Soon, Matt and Kylo realized their wine was empty, Kylo slurring ever so slightly when he chimed in. Matt patted Kylo on the back, “I remember my first beer too, Kylie.”

Kylo chuckled, telling Matt to go fuck himself. You had rarely seen so much color in Kylo’s cheeks, his eyelids low and his hair falling in his face. You also realized, you’d never seen him tipsy. You watched as he continued to jest with Matt, realizing that he was a very refined handsome. So dark, mysterious, yet totally loveable. You felt genuine love for everyone in the room with you.

You snapped out of it when Matt got out of the hot tub, his body creating ripples in the water. Kylo followed him out, clumsily coming to his feet.

“Headed to bed, drunkie?” You laughed as Kylo made a face at you, sticking his tongue out for a split second. As he walked around the tub towards the spiral stairway, he ruffled your hair. “Goodnight weirdo.”

Matt followed Kylo, wrapping a towel around his own waist. “Goodnight, y/n! I’m making french toast in the morning!” He shuffled up the stairs and out of view.

You looked back to the only other one left, your feet going still in the roaring water. Ben was leaned back, looking out towards the incredibly dark view from the windows. He spoke up, his voice booming through the now-empty room, “You can take off that towel, ya know.”

He turned his head to you, smiling. You felt a flutter in your stomach as your eyes met his. “There was way too much testosterone in that water, I think I’ll let it dissolve before I submerge my whole body, thanks.” You both laughed at your comment, feeling a bit of awkward tension now that you were alone.

“I’ve never brought a girl home,” he confessed, “Matt brought a girl back freshman year, then Kylo brought his girlfriend from sophomore summer, but I’ve never been able to bring anyone.”

You felt your body humming from the wine. How strong was that shit? Kylo must have had a heavy ass hand, because that pour was .

“If it’s any consolation, I’ve never even had a boyfriend to bring anywhere,” you said, realizing how embarrassing it was to say out loud. Ben looked at you, surprise blanketing his expression.

“There is no way in hell that is true, y/n,” he said shaking his head, “you’re a total catch.”

You smiled to yourself at his comment. “Why do you bring that up, Ben?”

Ben looked to the foaming water play at his arms and swallowed, “I don’t really know...can’t get you out of my head and it fucking sucks. The moment I saw you in that common room, studying and awarding Harvey-fuck-face for getting a question right...I just wanted to slide in and take his place, wanted to make you laugh and…”

Your eyebrows had come together at his candidness. You weren’t sure what was happening but you were certain that the wine had loosened everyone’s tongues tonight. 

“And?”

“And...i don’t know y/n, make you happy? The guy never looked at you the way you looked at him, like he were the only person in the room. Every time i looked at you, i just wished it was me because--well, i’d look at you too. I’m not really good at this…”

You looked down, attempting to collect your hurricane of thoughts. Ben, the obnoxious player was telling you that he had feelings for you. It was so sweet to watch him stammer about, telling you that he wanted to make you happy. Then you realized, he had. 

“Ben, you always put a smile on my face,” you said grinning, “This last week with you has been nothing short of amazing. I didn’t realize that i would be so magnetically attracted to you, but, i am.” You turned your gaze back to Ben, who was looking back at you cautiously. 

“You’re just so stunning, inside and out, but you haven’t got a damn clue, kid.” Ben ran another wet hand through his hair, causing it to stick to the side of his head. He looked so gorgeous, his massive hands massaging the back of his neck as he looked back at you. You stayed in his gaze as he waded closer to you, moving right in front of your body, holding both of your calves in his soft grip.

He looked at you up and down, starting from your feet to your forehead. You felt immediately hot, burning up and feeling faint at the same time. He wasn’t just trying to get you in bed, Ben really cared for you. 

The wine coursing through your veins encouraged you to open your knees, letting him get a little closer to you. He began to rub your leg from ankle to knee. “Why are you hiding beneath that towel, y/n?”

You blushed. “I’m not really built like the girls you are used to, i don’t think…”

He gave a low laugh, “You’re probably right, none of them were nearly as beautiful. I can’t believe that you don’t see that.”

You felt his hands move to the side of your thighs, your knees widening just a bit more to let him even closer. You leaned back on your elbows as Ben made his way closer between your legs. You loved the feeling of his body against yours, the heat between your legs growing as the butterflies in your stomach went rampant. 

“I want to just see you,” he said quietly, “I want you to feel as sexy as you look.” His lips were parted as he looked into your eyes, the pressure from his hands moving upwards. 

You felt a wind of courage as one of your hands came to his chest, feeling the strength of his gentle muscles, moving down his sternum. Then, you reached toward the tie on the towel, releasing it from your body, never breaking eye contact. 

Your elbow came back into place, holding you up. You had revealed the rest of your form, the bathing suit riding up your sides to reveal your strong curves. Ben’s eyes searched you hungrily, taking in the softness of your pale skin in this lighting. You, draped against the floor, revealing yourself for him. You felt one of his mountainous hands move from your thigh to your hips, kneading and squeezing you. 

He looked like he had seen a woman for the first time, honestly. Studying you, squeezing you, breathing deeply in concentration. You began to feel self conscious when both of his hands moved up your body to your waist, pulling you upwards. Ben had caught you in his arms and began to walk backwards into the hot tub, carefully placing you in and on your feet. You released your grip on his shoulders, but his hands never left you. 

He continued to search your body with his hands, gripping at you, his head nuzzled in your neck. The warmth of the hot tub on your body could not stop the goosebumps from popping up all over you. You closed your eyes and wrapped your arms back around his shoulders, taking his his touch. 

Ben’s hands went still, pulling you in a tight embrace. He planted a soft kiss on your neck, leaving you to melt. “You deserve to be worshipped, woman,” he growled, “you are absolutely unreal.” He pulled away to face you, but your hands found his jaw. You pulled him in for a kiss, his hot lips crashing into yours. Your hands roamed into his hair, tugging and holding as the kiss became more passionate.   
You felt your pulse rocking your body, adrenaline coursing through your veins to counter your buzz. You felt high, euphoric. Ben was breathing deeply through his nose as you countered each other’s movements, pushing and pulling at the mouth like the ocean’s tide. 

He pulled back softly, opening his eyes to look at yours. After a few seconds of his distance, you opened your eyes too, peering into the dripping pots of amber in your gaze. 

A smile turned the corner of his mouth upwards as you looked at each other, eyes flicking side to side ever so slightly to take each other in. You realized that you had come up on your toes, feeling an ache in the arches of your feet telling you to relax. You shifted your weight downwards, craning your neck a little more to look into his face. 

“I want you so bad, y/n,” Ben whispered, planting a soft kiss on your forehead, “in every way possible.”  
~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what ya think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> French toast, coffee and marijuana?

You didn’t know how to respond to his confession. You kept looking at him, hoping something would happen but you both stood there embraced, the steam from the hot tub steadily rising. You were terrified and excited at the thought of taking Ben to bed with you, even though you had no idea where that would be. Wait…should it be in a bed? You were flustered at the seemingly promised intimacy coming your way.

Ben placed his hand on the small of your back, “but I don’t want to rush you, let’s get you to bed, y/n. “ He moved quickly away from you, leaving you to feel the chill of the air out of the water. He hoisted himself out of the water and walked over to grab his towel, the coming back to offer you help out. You took his hand, water cascading down your leg and onto the floor. He handed you your towel and began to tidy up some.

“Wait,” you blurted, “what is happening?” Your thoughts were all over the place, the closeness with Ben sobered you up and you no longer felt fuzzy and relaxed. You were dizzy at the thought of having sex with him, worried that it would ruin everything you had with the solo triplets. You weren’t sure you were ready to be anyone’s girlfriend, and you certainly didn’t feel like someone to bring home to the family. Not as a girlfriend.

But on the other hand…Ben had really gone out of his way to make sure that you got to spend time with them this holiday. He had been a phenomenal pick-me-up whenever you were feeling down back at school, always sorry for yourself because your love for Harvey was unrequited. He was just always...there, now that you thought about it.

He stopped rinsing out glasses and looked back to you. “What do you mean, ‘what is happening’?”

You pulled your towel around yourself like a hug. “Well, you just groped the hell out of me, told me you want to worship me, then you just walked away? To send me to bed? What is it that you feel for me exactly?” You felt yourself becoming your normal self-conscious mess. 

He chuckled, “Respect.” He set down the glass he was cleaning, throwing the towel down as well. He walked out from around the bar towards you, one bead of water sliding down his chest and disappearing into the fabric of his swim trunks. “But if you want me to stop,” his hands came to your chin, tilting your face up towards his, “i’m sure i can arrange that, just for the night.”

You felt butterflies thrashing around in your belly, your heart practically rising to your throat. “Respect me, huh,” you breathed, staring into his heavy-lidded eyes, “Is that what you were doing to me in the hot tub?” You smirked up at him, his hand sliding to support the base of your skull and pull you into another hot kiss. 

You pulled away, “Wanna show me to my room, Sir Ben?”

Ben huffed, looking up to the ceiling and groaning. “You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?”

You laughed through your nose as he walked towards the stairs, running his hands through his hair to occupy his hands. You shuffled after him, the cold air raising bumps on your skin. 

You followed him up the stairs and through the hall when you reached one of the guest bedrooms, your bags already having been dropped off in it for you. You looked around as he turned on a light, pulling out extra blankets from a nearby closet for you. “Well, whoever your parents interior designer is, give him my number please,” you said, looking around the perfectly furnished room. 

There was a wooden canopy bed, a tall bookcase and a nook for reading. Your bag was placed at the edge of the bed, as well as your shoes from upstairs. The room smelled like clean cotton with a hint of cinnamon. Ben placed the extra blankets at the end of the bed and turned to you, still shirtless. “I’m gonna hit the hay, kid. Try not to think of me too much tonight, gotta be up in time for breakfast.” He smiled as he walked towards you, but went right past you through the door frame. 

You were confused again, going over the night as you began to hang your towel up and pull your pjs out of your bag. You were bent over to rummage through the bag when you heard him say, “Oh by the way, towels and bathing suit go in that laundry bin...but don’t mind me, please continue.”

Your bathing suit revealed so much of your ass that you bending over was practically pornographic. You stood quickly and looked at him with a red face. He was leaned against the door frame, one hand on his hip. He bit his lip still looking at you, then he grabbed the door handle to close. “Sleep tight, kid.”

You waited until you heard his footsteps walking away and you stripped, replacing your soaked bathing suit with a pair of clean, warm pajamas. After you did your before-bed stuff, you laid in the comfortable bed just thinking. 

You woke to knocking on your door, shuffling groggily to answer it. When you opened, Matt was standing there with a smile on his face. “Oh did i wake you? Ben said he set an alarm for you yesterday...anyways my parents are on their way back and I was just about to start breakfast…want a coffee?” 

You rubbed your eyes and yawned, Matt nodded his head and walking away, taking your sleepiness as a yes. 

You got ready, sporting a grey sweater dress and black leggings to stay comfy. Your hair surprisingly dried in your favorite fashion; you chalked it up to the California air. 

As you entered the kitchen, the smell of coffee drifted into your senses, making your mouth water. Ben and Kylo were seated at the island, sipping on java. Kylo was reading a coverless book and Ben was scrolling on his phone. Matt was wearing an apron, pulling a dish out of the oven. 

“Ah, y/n, your coffee is over here!” Matt set down the dish that smelled so strongly of cinnamon and nutmeg, and picked up a steaming mug to hand to you. 

“Matty, you are truly an angel and we don’t deserve you,” you said, your sleepy voice still blanketing your vocal chords. 

Ben turned around quickly, watching as you floated over you your coffee, pulling your hair back to smell the french toast bake that Matt had made. Just as your hands grasped the handle of the coffee, the door to the house opened and there was Leia and Han. 

“Boys!” cheered Leia. She dropped her bags of gifts near the sectional and walked over to wrap her arms around her sons. “Oh my god it smells heavenly, this can only mean Matt is cooking!” Matt grinned at his mother as she came by to embrace him. As she did, she opened her eyes and noticed you in the corner by the food. “And you must be y/n! We have heard about you non-stop since the boys met you!” She let go of Matt and walked towards you, arms open. 

You hugged Leia, noticing her flowery scent. “Mrs. Organa-Solo, it’s so good to meet you as well!” 

Leia laughed sweetly, “Please please call me Leia, we are so excited that you can join us this year!” 

You felt warmth as Han came around to hug you as well, making small talk and asking about your trip across the country. Everyone gathered in the kitchen had received a small plate from Matt, the steamy french toast beckoning everyone to eat. He had laid out the coffee, syrup and utensils. 

Once you were all finished, Han and Leia went to freshen up and begin setting up for their own party that evening. 

Most of the day went by helping rearranging some of the furniture to make it party-ready. You spent a lot of time with Kylo, fetching bottles of champagne and wine. You had to put ribbons on the stems of glasses to match the evening, Christmas Eve. You talked about your usual holiday traditions and what to expect at one of the Solo’s famous cocktail parties. 

“This one’s not gonna be as big as New Years will. Mom usually invites a small handful of people for tonight but New Years...well it’s gonna be a show.” Kylo continued tying ribbons on the glasses with finesse as you struggled to get yours on. “It’s like this,” he took your glass and showed you how to do it.

You huffed as you continued to fail miserably, “Maybe I should be on sweeping duty or something!” Kylo laughed as your cheeks went pink, his tray of perfect glasses completely filled. 

“It’s ok, you’re lucky to not have had 15 years of experience doing this, they had to have been breaking some child labor laws…” You and Kylo were laughing when Ben came in the room, you realized the sun was lower in the sky. 

“Alright, how do I look?” Ben opened his arms for you and Kylo to get a better look at his Christmas sweater, decorated with green and red LED lights.

You and Kylo burst out into laughter, Ben joining in as Matt rounded the corner wearing the same sweater. Matt didn’t look as amused. 

“Quit your laughing Kylie, mom got you one too!” Matt walked towards Kylo and dropped the sweater in his lap.

You watched as all of them blinked with the LED lights, trying your hardest not to laugh too hard. 

Soon, the sun was gone and the house was it’s normal glow, with an addition of christmas streamers and holly wreaths everywhere. There was music coming from every corner of the house, candles illuminating dim rooms and the smell of gingerbread in the air. Leia had made everyone a white chocolate martini to start the night off, and you couldn’t help but feel extra warm from that as well. 

People began to show up, bringing tupperware full of casseroles and snacks for the night. You must have shaken a million peoples hands when you waded through them to find Kylo. 

Once you spotted him with a glass of wine in his hands, you rushed over.

“A small handful of people?!” You looked around the room and back to Kylo. 

“Yeah...my parents have a lot of friends,” he took a sip of wine, “here, have one of these. Definitely makes the night more interesting.” He handed you a cocktail with cranberries floating on the top. “She called them poinsettias i think, anyway it’s practically all booze so you’re welcome!” He laughed as you took a sip and immediately widened your eyes. 

“I’m people watching anyways, feel free to join me! I could always use another’s judging eyes,” he took another sip of his wine and you, your ‘poinsettia’.

You were chatting, feeling the alcohol find your lips as your speech started to feel a bit lazy. Soon, you were feeling confident, loud and fun. 

“Oh shit, do not look now...but that girl over there with the green sweater, she’s practically my white buffalo…” Kylo was looking from the floor back over the the corner where the girl was standing, talking with a few others. 

You looked around the room, trying to be nonchalant but failed miserably as you glared over at her. “Oh wow, she’s a beaut.”

Kylo leaned against the wall, his head hitting it a bit harder than he probably meant to. 

“Well...go talk to her, Kylie!” You punched him in the shoulder, causing a bit of his wine to spill over the glass. 

“Not you too…” he laughed, wiping the wine off the wall. 

“Sorry, i’m so clumsy,” you said ashamedly, “But seriously, what’s the harm in saying hello? She IS in your home you know…” 

Kylo entertained you for a moment, only moving when you gently nudged him away from the wall after having come up with a plan. 

He looked back at you cautiously before proceeding, you giving him a nod of support. 

You watched as he strolled over to her, your plan working out perfectly. You smiled to yourself, feeling the effect of the drinks in your fingertips. You pushed off the wall to go find another drink, wandering through all the strangers once more. 

There were string lights directing traffic to the kitchen where you saw a tray of champagne flutes, the light golden liquid sending bubbles to the surface. You grabbed one from the tray and turned to go back to your people watching spot when you saw Ben outside, looking up to the sky. 

Feeling ballsy, you opened the door and scared him. “Boo!” 

He turned around quickly, smoke escaping his nostrils as he choked. 

“Oh my god are you smoking?” You laughed aloud as you closed the door behind you, entering the cold night air with him. He continued to cough on smoke. 

“My parents hide some pretty good bud in the decorations closet, want a hit?”

You looked at his watering eyes as he held out a perfectly rolled joint. Feeling rebellious, you took it between your fingertips, rolling it around. “I’ve never actually done this, Ben,” You looked back to him, the smoke from the joint rising lazily into your vision. 

“Ok well, just suck on it nice and slow, then hold the smoke in your lungs...even if it hurts for a second.” 

You looked at the menacing white joint in your hand, feeling anxious as it was your first time. You put your lips to it, smelling the strong skunky smell that you had recognized from your college campus. You dragged the smoke into your lungs and before you knew it, you were coughing and choking harder than you thought you would. 

Ben was positively giggling as you died, still holding the joint in your hand. “Thats it, get it out, get it out,” he was patting your back as you bent over coughing when you felt this head rush like you’d never felt before. After another few moments, you stood upright wiping a tear from your eye. 

“Ok now watch,” said Ben as he stole the joint back from you, “nice and easy, slow-like…” He took a slow hit from the joint, closing his eyes as he pulled it away, hissing in the nights air. He choked on a few coughs but held in the smoke for an impressive amount of time, passing the joint back to you as he exhaled. 

You gave it another try, feeling slightly more relaxed. You felt the same burning sensation but held the smoke in like Ben said to, exhaling after a decent amount of time. You both ended up laying on the ground, laughing with each other about your reaction. 

You turned to Ben, feeling woozy yet grounded. You watched him smile up at the sky, talking about you. “Is this what being high is like?” 

He laughed again, but a bit more slowly, “Well idk about you, but i’m like, as high as that tree branch all the way up there.”

You laughed with each other on the ground when Ben stood abruptly, holding his hand out for you. “C’mon, I have something to show you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stick with me fellas <3


	8. Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are just worth the wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *drum roll*
> 
> The moment you've all been waiting for. ;)

Ben pulled you up, dragging you back into the house. He held your hand as you walked through many people to get to wherever he was taking you. 

You got to a room that was completely dark when he turned on a small light in a corner. It was his piano. 

Ben sat on the bench at the piano, opening her up and playing with the keys. “This thing is like, my pride and joy,” he said as he played a few keys. 

“Can you play something for me?” You sat on the floor and looked up to him, crossing your legs. 

“How can i ever say no to you?” Ben looked over to the piano, contemplating what to play. His hands found their place on the keys, letting you know that he had made up his mind. He began to play you a soft, sweet tune. It was a song that you had never heard before. 

You sat for a few minutes, basking in the music. You watched as his hands glided along the piano, making the beautiful music look effortless. Just as you felt you were losing yourself, he messed up and started laughing.

You giggled back at his laughter, him clumsily coming down from the bench to sit with you on the floor. “Well that was a fail, oh well i’m high!” 

“Shhhhh Ben!!!” You put a finger to his lips, looking around to see if anyone was coming. When your eyes came back to Ben, he was looking back at you, his eyelids heavy and his plush lips kissing at your fingertip. You couldn’t pull away. 

He stopped kissing at you, grabbing the bench to stand. You stood as well, willing to go wherever he wanted to take you. 

This time, he led you a different way to the hallway of rooms. He pulled you past the room you were sleeping in and into what you assumed was his room. He flicked on a light, illuminating a surprisingly clean and aesthetic room. His sheets were a dark blue, his furniture all a light wood. He pulled you in and closed the door. 

“Ben, if you’re going to offer me more weed i’m not sure I’m really into it,” you laughed. 

Ben turned to look at you, his eyes dripping with amber in that way you had come to know. You began to feel yourself getting nervous. 

“Ben, what-”

“I want to knock out another first tonight, if you’ll let me.” His soft voice echoed in your head about a million times before you made any movement. You saw his hand gesture towards his bed and your legs carried you there without any consultation with your brain. 

You sat at the edge of the bed, making yourself small as you held your hands in your lap. He walked towards you, kneeling at your feet, immediately beginning to work on your shoes. 

“Ben…” you whispered, “what are you doing?”

He ssssshed you and you took a deep breath. His hands fumbled with your shoe for a moment before it was off, falling to the floor with a thud. Ben’s room smelled of teakwood and tobacco, one of your favorite candle scents. You breathed in deep once more, allowing the scent to fill your nostrils, all the while your high persisted. You felt safe, but all the same the butterflies kept dancing around in your belly. 

Your leggings stayed tight around your feet, only the imprint of your toes showing through the fabric. Ben’s warm hands on your feet reminded you of your dip in the hot tub last night, causing your heart to race at the memory. Just as his hands began to slide up the side of your calves, you heard someone calling his name. 

Ben stood abruptly, running out the door before they came any closer to the room. You waited a few moments, the door still cracked enough to hear the gentle hum of the party in the house. You felt foolish and uncertain, waiting in Ben Solo’s room for him to come back to do what? 

You grabbed your shoes and began down the hallway, stopping in your room to make yourself presentable once more. As you headed back to the party, it seemed much more quiet than before. More intimate.

The triplets were all saying goodbye to family and friends who had come to the party, all gathered at the door towering over everyone. You looked to Ben who seemed less than thrilled to be hugging people and waving them off. You sat in a nearby armchair, grabbing a nearby glass of white wine. You sipped slowly, watching the people leaving the front door. 

Kylo was a little wrapped up in the girl he had swept off to earlier, one hand in his pocket and the other hand gripping an empty glass. She was clearly making conversation as she said her goodbyes, and Kylo clearly didn’t want it to end. Soon, she pulled out her phone, appearing to get down his phone number. Kylo’s flushed cheeks made you feel so sentimental. He deserved so much, you thought. 

After about 20 minutes of relaxing in the armchair, you began to feel sleepiness settling into your bones. Maybe it was the weed, maybe it was all the alcohol, or maybe it was just exhaustion. Either way, you were ready for bed. It was Christmas Eve and they were with family. You would just slip away for the night. 

It took a lot of motivation to get up, but you manage to push yourself out of the comfy armchair and begin to head back to the guest room. You slipped away unnoticed, heading to the bathroom to get into your pjs and brush your teeth. When you came out, you saw Ben sitting on your bed, his hands folded in his lap. 

You had washed off all of your makeup, your bedtime shorts riding up your legs as your thighs stuck together. Your tank top revealed the silhouette of your breasts, perked up at the slight chill in the room and the draft of the ceiling fan. Ben swallowed. 

You stood there, eyes heavy with tiredness, and leaned against the wall to support you. “Hi Ben, need me to tell you a bed time story?”

He smirked at you, his bloodshot eyes heavy too. “I just shoved as much of my family out of the door as i could to get back to you, i’m sorry I ran out like that. I thought if it were my parents or my brothers coming down the hall, they might tease you or make you feel uncomfortable.” He rubbed his left eye, squinting at you with the other. 

You yawned, “totally fine, don’t worry about it. Though, you did get me a little worked up to just run off like that,” you winked, “i’m just messing though, i’m not sure if the weed is causing this gravitational pull towards that bed or-”

“Can i sleep with you tonight?” he interrupted. 

“Oh,” you managed. You looked around the room, then back to Ben still sitting on the bed. 

“Oh no, that’s cool,” he said abruptly, standing up and walking towards the door of the guest bedroom. “I’ll see you in the morning y/n.”

You grabbed his arm as he passed you. When his eyes met yours, they were wired and nervous. You slid your hands down his forearm to his hand. “Stay.” 

His shoulders relaxed, slowly closing the gap between the two of you. “Last night I just laid awake, just thinking about you sleeping in here and how close we were...lookit if you want me to have a bad nights sleep on Christmas Eve i can go back to my room…” He was smirking when your eyes met his, your hand still holding onto his. 

You raised an arm to give him a gentle slap on the cheek, “So damn manipulative, and to think I was about to let you stay of my own volition…”

“No no no, c’mon, i’m sorry, i never know when to turn it off,” he laughed quietly, his eyes beaming at you. 

You shook your head, turning around to drag him to bed. You flipped on the ceiling fan and turned off the light, the blinds open in the room giving enough light to find the edge of the bed. You felt around to pull the blankets back, sliding under the covers. You turned to look at Ben who began to strip off his clothes, his muscles defined beautifully in the moonlight. 

He carefully pulled back the sheets, gently slipping into bed as you scooted over for him. You laid on your side, watching him get adjusted. As soon as he was comfortable, you settled into your pillow, taking a deep breath. 

“Do you ever think we meet people for a reason,” he whispered, “like to teach us something really important about ourselves or whatever?”

“I do,” you replied softly, “i think sometimes that even though all of life is a gamble, there are these little pieces that are placed along the way to make you grow, show you love, make you think.”

It was quiet. You listened to the sound of his breath as he laid on his back, you on your side. 

“Flip over,” he said, turning his head to you. 

Instead of asking, you looked to him and slowly began to turn over to your other side. His hands met your hips, pulling your shirt up. “Whaddya think you’re up to mister,” you mumbled. 

“Shhhh, trust me,” he whispered. His hands continued to tug your tank top up towards your upper back. You felt his body align with yours, his hands beginning to roam around your back under your shirt. 

His hands raised bumps on your skin, the gentle rubbing of your back being both sensual and comforting. You felt his warmth, felt his massive hands make putty out of you. You felt yourself drifting, his sweetness rocking you to sleep. 

~  
You awoke the next morning, the sun creeping towards your pillow and into your eyes. Blinking gently, you flipped over to face Ben, but he was not lying beside you. Your hands gripped the blanket that was placed gently back onto the bed once he left, feeling a bit disappointed that he was not there. 

You flipped back over to look out the window. It couldn’t have been past 6 AM, and you were going to attempt to go back to sleep. You got up to close the curtains, pissed that the sunlight had woken you to your lack-of-Ben. 

As you nearly closed the gap between the curtains, you heard talking in the bathroom. The conversation was hushed, but it seemed to keep going on and on. You listened as you heard little whisps of voices when something fell over in the bathroom, it sounded like your bottle of hairspray. 

You stood by the half closed curtains with one of your hands clutching your arm across your body. You heard the latch to the door click ever so gently. Ben peeked his head out to see if he had woken you, startled that you were standing there, fully alert. 

“Oh,” he whispered, “I’m so sorry, i got up to go to the bathroom, groggy i guess.”

You yawned and nodded your head. “S’fine, wanna try and go back to sleep?”

He made his way completely out of the bathroom, now standing in front of you in only his boxers. Your eyes lingered a half second at his happy trail, leading your gaze downward…

“Actually...since you’re awake,” he said walking towards the bed, “wanna talk?”

You slipped back into bed, propping your pillow up instead of lying down completely. He got into bed, mimicking you. 

“Whatya wanna talk about?” You look over to him, a small amount of purple pink and orange light coming into the room from the crack in the curtains. He looked nervous, cautious. 

“Merry christmas.” He said looking down at you. You smiled and sunk into the bed, turning your body towards his and laughing under your breath, “Merry Christmas Ben Solo. Who were you chatting with in the bathroom?”

He chuckled, putting an arm behind his head, “Was i talking to someone?” He grinned at your face, your eyebrows raised at him. “If you must know, I was just casually prepping myself on how to tell you that I think i’m falling in love with you.” He swallowed. 

You giggled, gently shoving his arm, “Quit it, weirdo, what were you doing?”

Your smile faded as Ben’s eyes scanned your face, his plush lips parted as he waited for you to accept what he had said. Did he just…?

Ben swallowed again. “I absolutely adore you, y/n.”

You looked away from his face, collecting your thoughts about the immediate situation. You searched your heart, your mind, your physical presence. You felt warm yet scared, excited yet fearful. Ben just admitted that he was falling in love with you. 

“Please say something?” 

You looked back to Ben, his face more nervous than you had ever seen him. Here, at the Solo household, 6am, on CHRISTMAS, Ben Solo told you he was falling in love with you. And you were pretty sure you were falling for him too. 

You sat up on the bed, your hair falling in your face. You turned to face Ben, grabbing one of his hands as his gaze fell on the blanket. You squeezed his hand, your mouth opening several times but nothing you thought of seemed good enough. 

“I...I’m just, you’re just,” you stammered, “my stomach is doing somersaults right now…i’m so sorry” You looked down at the blanket, ashamed that you couldn’t reciprocate his calm confession.

“Hey hey,” his hand found your chin, lifting your face up to meet his gaze, “relax, there’s no pressure here. I just couldn’t go another day here without telling you that.” You watched as the skin over his jugular pulsed with adrenaline. You still weren’t used to this Ben. 

His soft voice melted you. “Ben, I think I might’ve fell for you, literally and figuratively, back when you threw a snowball at my ass. I don’t know what it is, but it’s...you and me.” He chuckled, his eyes remaining sweet and fixated on yours. 

His hand slid from your chin to the back of your neck, his eyes continuously searching your face. You couldn’t wait any longer, “Ben...I-I want you.”

His eyes fluttered shut for a split second while his body sunk down to meet yours. You felt the heat in between your legs with each pulse. You were nervous but absolutely drunk at the thought of being with Ben. The way his massive hands had gripped you, caressed you, worshipped you. You wanted him for real this time...all of him. 

“Come closer,” he whispered, his hands finding your hips. Another jolt of heat and butterflies. 

You were face to face lying down, looking into each others eyes. Your hand rose to meet his chest, feeling free to touch any part of him you wanted. You wondered if he could tell how nervous you were. Your nipples perked up as he moved his hands along your curves and down your back. His hair was a bit longer than it usually would be, curling slightly around his ear and occasionally falling in his face as he searched you. His hands made their way onto your belly and you flinched, immediately self-conscious. He purred in the back of his throat, bringing his mouth to your neck and his hands to your breast. He kneaded and massaged, feeling your chest rise a bit more frequently as you sighed and whimpered. 

His lips were pressured, needy. He was making putty out of you, your hands holding onto him as the desire coursing through you became overwhelming. You’d never had sex, only seen it in movies or porn. You didn’t think that his hands would feel this good, or get you this wet.

His lips made their way up your neck to your ear where he whispered sweet nothings to you. “Your body is absolutely fucking perfect y/n.” He gave you a couple extra squeezes as he kissed you, groping your ass before he himself was worked up. “I want you more than i’ve ever wanted anything right now, i need you…” 

Just then he let out another purr and pushed his pelvis against you, allowing you to feel the extent of his need. The heat coming from his boxers was intoxicating, his hard cock pressing into you aggressively, not budging from its pressure. You allowed your hands to roam down his body, meeting his waistband. He lifted his head and let out a groan of anticipation and began to buck his hips at you again. 

His lips crashed into yours when you gently weaved your hand inside his boxers, taking him into your hands. He let out a sharp breath on your mouth as your hands began to work him ever so slightly, teasing him, making him throb in your grip. 

He became more ravenous, his hands pulling and pushing, the noises in the back of his throat becoming more feral. 

His hand slipped under the blanket to meet yours, helping you to squeeze him a bit harder and move up and down a bit faster. As soon as you were able to continue on your own, his hand met the space between your legs, begging for attention. You whimpered as his massive hand began to rub your clit in circles, feeling like you couldn’t have done it better yourself. 

You began to squirm under the blankets, moaning quietly into his kisses as your hands worked his massive cock. You could feel how much pressure had built at the head of his dick, the throbbing more violent than before. 

He pulled away from your legs, panting, to inspect his hand. It was slick with your fluids, his fingers shining in the minimal sunlight. He placed a couple fingers on his lips, growling as he tasted you. His hand moved back down, this time, his fingers separated your folds. He toyed with your opening before slowly inserting one digit, watching your face as he went deeper. 

You weren’t used to this pressure inside you, but the amount of wetness you accumulated had allowed him to slide right in. You continued to whimper as his hand rocked in and out, his thumb still gently massaging your clit. Your hand had ceased to jerk him off, only holding onto his cock because you didn’t want to move your body. He watched you hungrily as he continued to pleasure you.

You pulled up your shirt, your breasts bouncing out as you grabbed yourself, continuing to squirm beneath his grip. You felt a familiar warmth building in your belly, looking between your closed eyelids and Ben’s plush lips, panting as he watched you get close. 

Your pussy throbbed against his finger and he bucked his hip into you, causing your hand to milk his cock. He continued slowly bucking himself into your hand as you held on tight, your orgasm creeping up on you. 

His hand became more rhythmic, his panting in sync with your own. You felt your legs shaking and the hand on your breast gripped tighter, tensing up the muscles in your abdomen. You whimpered, now breathed, now moaned… “Oh Ben…”

You looked up to him as his cock throbbed violently in your hand and his mouth parted. The two sensations alone tipped you over the edge. You felt yourself clenching onto his finger, your breath stifled by your orgasm. You threw your head back as your spine arched and your toes curled. His hands continued to work you as you shuddered against him. You felt his finger come to your lip, stifling any moans you may let escape, his pelvis still rocking into your hand.

You felt the heat in your belly begin to fall, left with the feeling of your pulse between your legs. 

His hand movements slowed, then he pulled his finger out of you. He brought it back up to his mouth when you grabbed his wrist, bringing his hand to your exposed breast. You pulled your hand out of his boxers where his cock continued to pulse, still hard as a rock. 

You began to tug on his boxers when he took the hint, pulling his attention away from you to take them completely off. You watched as he threw them on the floor, finally getting the full picture of him completely naked. His muscle tone exacerbated as he lifted himself over you, allowing you to drink him in. You realized you were still clothed when his hands came beneath your shirt, attempting to pull it over your head. You lifted your arms, allowing him to take the shirt from you and leave you bare. 

He pulled back the blanket to slip fully beneath with you, maneuvering himself between your legs. You looked up at him as he swallowed, his eyes focused on yours. Your legs fell open a bit more for him as your knees came to his sides. His mouth came down to kiss your breasts, palming at your skin and purring in the back of his throat. 

“You look so beautiful,” he breathed, “i’ll make you cum every day if i get to see that color in those cheeks.” He smirked as one of his hands slipped beneath the blanket to meet his cock. 

You felt the pulse between your legs grow again as his knuckle hit your thigh, pulling on himself. You felt his cock fall onto your pussy, the head slipping ever so slightly against your wet, swollen folds. He looked down at the view of himself over your body, his cock throbbing again into your pussy. 

His eyes came back to your face, his brow furrowed in need. Your right hand slipped beneath the blanket, finding him and positioning him at your entrance. His mouth came to yours as he lowered his pelvis into yours, his massive cock head stretching your entrance slowly. You gasped at his size, not expecting the pressured sensation.

He pulled back in fear of hurting you, searching your face, then pushing back into you. 

Your hand came up to hold his neck as he slid past your entrance, continuing to split you open. His panting fueled your wetness, his pleasure throbbing in you. He put his forehead against yours as he continued to push deeper into you, your eyes shut tight in both pleasure and pain. 

You never realized how full you’d feel when this happened, never realized that it would sting yet feel so good at the same time. 

You let out a few whimpers as Ben’s cock was nearly buried inside you. He began to thrust back and forth, gentle and shallow. His hair fell around your face as your foreheads were pressed together. Soon, he hid his face into your neck as his movements became more fluid, going deeper and pulling out more. You felt every inch of him as your pussy gripped him. 

You were both breathing so deep, moving your hips with him despite how debilitatingly big he was. Your hands clutched at his skin, grabbing and scratching as he pushed himself into you sweetly. 

Suddenly he lifted his head, bringing one hand to your neck and staring into your eyes as his movements became more rapid. His lips were parted and the purrs in the back of his throat became more frequent. You lifted your lips to his and he growled into your mouth, a hand coming to your thigh. He gripped you hard, his hips moving faster and faster as you felt him throb again inside you. 

“Oh babe,” he whimpered, “you feel so-so fucking good.” 

He leaned back, holding both of your legs open, watching his cock go in and out of you. His eyes also fixated on the bouncing of your breasts as he bucked into you. The noises he made, more feral by the second, drove your wetness further. You felt the motion inside you become easier as your wetness made you slick.   
He dropped down, bringing his mouth to yours, the sheets balled up in his fists. 

You wrapped your arms and legs around him as he picked up speed, feeling his legs shake on top of you. 

Your hand grabbed the back of his head, shoving your tongue inside his mouth. His hand met your jaw, holding you into the kiss. 

He pulled away suddenly, his hips rocking into you. 

“Y/n, you’re going to make me cum,” he whispered, never slowing his pace, “you’re gonna make me-”

Lips parted and eyes shut tight, Ben’s cock began to positively pulse inside you. You felt the heat of him as his thrusts paused for each shot of cum within you, continuing to push deeper in between. He opened his eyes, brows furrowed, to look at you. You panted, catching his head onto your chest as he collapsed into you. His arms coming to hold your waist, his cock continuing to throb. 

His breath began to slow, catching every now and again if he moved himself within you. You both held each other, allowing your heart rates to return to normal. After about ten minutes, you felt his hips move backward and his now softened cock begin to slide out. The sting of it took you by surprise as you hissed between your teeth. 

Ben pulled all the way out of you and fell onto the bed beside you. He stared up at the ceiling before his gaze came back to you. “Oh my god.” A massive grin spread on his face. 

You began to smile too, realizing what had just happened. “I’d say so,” you huffed. 

His arms reached out, pulling you into him and kissing the top of your head. “Best christmas i’ve ever had...and i don’t even think it’s 8am!”

You both laughed, realizing how sleepy you now were, and how the day had just begun.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas morning and you can't help but feel a little out of place. The Solo's clear that up fairly quickly for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's so fluffy, i'm gonna die!

Ben had to sneak away from the room once you two heard stirring within the home. You followed him all the way to the floor, wearing nothing but the sheets you pulled from the bed. He wrapped his warm arms around you, peppering your face with sweet little kisses and resisting your shoves to get him out of the room. Once you parted, you missed the feeling of his hands all over. 

You showered. The hot water running all over your body could not compare to the licks of flames against your skin as Ben touched you. You smiled to yourself, getting the occasional pang of lust within your stomach as you relived the memory, watching the scene of Ben’s body and yours dance along your thoughts. 

As soon as you were ready, you stepped out of the bathroom. 

You had a dark grey sweater dress on, the mock-neck slightly irritating your skin. Your go-to black leggings clung to your skin like a dream. You managed to pull your hair back into a casual yet classy look, a couple strands falling to frame your face. 

You snuck away from the room, biting your lip as you were still a bit unsure where this was all taking place. As soon as you rounded a corner, the smell of pine and cinnamon reached your nostrils, summoning you. You followed the scent, coming to the front room that had been rearranged to fit the massive christmas tree, adorned with ornaments and glitter. Beneath the tree was a pile of presents like you had never seen before. 

Next to that pile of presents…

“Y/n! Merry Christmas!” Matt was cheesing, sitting in the armchair closest to all the presents. “I made you an eggnog...and I spiked it with some coffee!” He rushed out of the chair to grab a steaming cup on the counter. 

On the loveseat near Matt was Han and Leia, lost in a sleepy conversation, the effort of the holidays showing in their tired but satisfied eyes. 

Kylo was tinkering with a camera, a box and wrapping paper already tossed to the side. He was taking shots of the way the light hit the silver streamers. “Merry christmas, y/n!” He quickly turned the camera to you, catching a shot of you before you could protest. Everyone chuckled as you cozied yourself into a chair furthest from the tree. 

Ben came sauntering into the front room, a grin spreading wide on his face as he saw you curled up with your coffee. “Merry christmas, kid.” He winked as he passed you to kiss his mom on the cheek and join the boys. 

As soon as everyone was settled, Leia made the announcement that it was time to begin opening gifts. Matt jumped to the pile, beginning to pass one around for everyone to open at the same time. 

You felt a bit uncomfortable, recognizing that you were not one of the family and that this tradition was very foreign to you. 

Matt handed you a present before giving one to Kylo. You hadn’t expected anything, and couldn’t hold back the excitement inside. You sat up straight enthusiastically and got ready with the others.   
As everyone was opening their gifts, the sound of wrapping ripping and falling to the ground was endless. Everyone had revealed what was hidden. You had received a lap desk from Kylo, he knew how much you loved to write little stories on your chromebook. Your heart was full. Smiling to him, you placed a hand on your heart and mouthed, “Thank you.”

He gave you a small, sideways smile before nodding to you, his camera now around his neck. 

Matt gave you a hard drive with about a billion times more gigabytes than you’d ever need in your lifetime. You giggled as he got excited and began telling you what he had been able to put on his, “Textbooks, y/n, TEXTBOOKS.”

You looked over to Ben who was tinkering with a fit-bit his parents had gotten him, the band nearly too tight for his large wrists. They were all chatting, thanking each other for the little surprises. 

You had stopped in Boston before you came to get Han and Leia something from afar, including a 4 pack of you and the boys’ favorite beers, some photos of the four of you, some school hoodies and a card that you had poured your heart over in thanks for their generosity. 

After receiving these, Han and Leia both got up and kissed you on the cheek, stating that you had been an absolute doll and were welcome any time. 

You couldn’t help but have a full heart, watching this warm and adorable family sit in their pjs and laugh together, completely enjoying everyone’s presence.

The boys had picked up your presents after they had their parent’s open theirs. 

Kylo first. He unwrapped the gift you got him quickly, the contents spilling out. There were three books, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Bram Stoker’s Dracula and the complete poems of Edgar Allen Poe. He grinned at the books then back to you. 

“I wrote a little blurb, on the inside,” you mentioned, “it’s just basically me telling you where I was when I read it...and at the back I told you the parts that scared me the most! When you finish them, we get to compare! Hope that’s not lame…”

Kylo stood quickly, closing the distance between you and hugging you close. He ruffled your hair as he walked back to sit down. “You know me too well.”

Matt was next, methodically tearing the wrapping paper. You had gotten him a pair of noise cancelling headphones and a year’s subscription to his favorite tech magazine. “This way, none of those jerks in the library can distract you from what’s really important!” You gave him a sweet smile as his eyes were beaming at you. 

“Ugh, you’re the best, y/n!”

Ben. 

You didn’t know how, but you had managed to find something fairly specific at a gas station/souvenir shop in Santa Fe. 

Ben unraveled his gift slowly, opening up the plastic wrapper that was covering the poster. 

His eyebrows had been furrowed, but as soon as he had flattened the poster the realization spread across his face. 

You had found a perfect shot of the hill atop Santa Fe, the very one that you had both slept together on. The hill that he kissed you on. The moment you knew for sure about your feelings for him. He looked from you to the poster and back to you again. Everyone in the room was a little bit confused and quiet. 

“What is it of, honey?” Leia craned her neck, her sweet smile searching Ben. 

“It was my favorite view,” Ben marveled, looking into your eyes and swallowing, “the most stunning view I’ve ever seen in my life.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want you all to myself, Ben Solo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a little while to come out! It's short, and definitely sweet.

Ben allowed the poster to curl back into itself, looking back up to you with admiration every few seconds. Everyone was getting up to grab some christmas breakfast cake and Ben rose as well. He placed the poster gingerly back into the plastic and you caught Han and Kylo raising eyebrows at one another. 

You pointed under the tree, “Ben, those other two are for you too-”

Ben had placed the poster down on a chair and held his hand out to you, “C’mon kid, I wanna give you yours.”

“Oh Ben, you shouldn’t have,” you laughed as he pulled you along. 

He kept looking back at you nervously as he led you into his room. Once you were there, he pulled out a hamper from the other side of his bed with wrapped gifts. 

“Oh my gosh, you should not have gotten me all of that stuff!” You were beaming at Ben. He beckoned you closer as he sat on the floor next to the hamper. 

“C’mon kid, I haven’t got all day,” he joked. You huffed at him as your body met the floor. 

You grabbed the biggest package first, feeling like a child who couldn’t delay the gratification. As you picked it up, it was slightly squishy but solid at the same time. 

You unwrapped the gift to find a 5 pound bag of gummy bears with a note attached to the front saying ‘I owed ya’. 

You both laughed together as you reminisced how you had first met in the study area. 

“Man were you bangin’,” he admitted, “All curled up with a book, eyebrows together in focus...i just knew i needed to know you.”

You smiled to him in adoration. The obnoxious, anti-feelings, cocky, hot-headed Ben was the same Ben who was making your heart flutter and your toes curl. It was such a dramatic difference.

Your hand crept towards his, wanting to hold it. He looked down at your hand, scooped it up and kissed it. 

“You’ve got a few more there, kid.”

You opened a few menial gifts. He got you gift cards to a couple of your favorite spots on campus as well as an alumni keychain from school for when you graduated next semester. 

You were both chatting about the gifts when he pulled out one from behind his back. A small box shaped gift sat in his large hand and you hesitated to take it from him, looking from the box to him and back again. 

“Alright kid it’s not an engagement ring, it’s ok to open it,” he chuckled, shoving the gift into your hand.

You smiled sheepishly, carefully tearing the paper. An undecorated black box stared back at you, and you got the courage to open it. As soon as the lid was lifted, your eyes were met with a sweet, simple rose gold bracelet with a tiny metal band engraved with numbers. 

You took it from the box, holding it open and feeling the precious metal drape against your hand weightlessly. It was simple and gorgeous, just to your liking, but what’s with the-

“Coordinates,” Ben hesitated, “F-from uh, Santa Fe.”

His hand was massaging the back of his neck as he avoided your eyes. 

“You really don’t have to wear it, it was really more just sentimental and i wasn’t even sure if i was going to give it to you but I saw it in a shop window an-”  
Your mouth had stifled his. You began working your lips into him, a needy kiss driving you into each other. His hands came to your neck and his tongue slipped in your mouth. You sat there, lustful, needy. Your hands were resting on his sturdy chest, a mess of gratitude and burning for him. You’d never expected any of this, but it turns out that it was all you wanted. 

“Ahem…”

You pulled away from Ben quickly, snapping your neck to the door. 

Kylo was standing in the door frame, eyebrows raised, eating cake. 

“So...Matt cut you both a piece of cake,” He finished swallowing, smirking as he began to back out of view. 

You and Ben looked at each other, eyes like saucers. 

“Oops,” Ben cringed. 

\----------------------------------------

You sat on the floor, rubbing your neck. The redness in your cheeks had not subsided since Kylo backed out of view. Something in your belly was attempting to escape. 

“Wanna...wanna go get that cake?” Ben was positively cheesing, a tinge of pink on his smooth skin. 

A few moments were spent nervously laughing. Ben suddenly jolted upwards, reaching out his hand for you. “It’ll be fine, Kylie’s always a weirdo so no one will notice him being strange towards you and me!”

“Wait, Ben…” you urged, “what...what exactly is this? I mean i hate to be that person but this whole thing has been so romantic, so..intimate? I don’t really know...should we just decide what this is before anyone else does?” You bit your bottom lip and your eyes drew a line to the floor. You were embarrassed, ashamed that you had to be the one to take away the fun of this whole thing. Maybe it was just a Ben Solo fling, and he made all the girls feel this way. Maybe-

Your thoughts were stopped abruptly with Ben’s gentle fingers tilting your chin up towards his face, his soft warm lips pulling you out of your doubt. His other hand rested on your lower back, drawing small circles into your skin. He pulled away from you smoothly, looking into your eyes. “Y/n, to be honest, you have me wrapped around your finger. I want you to be all mine.” His honey eyes melted you into his hands which were now grasping the fabric of your dress, balling it up in his fist out of nervousness. 

You exhaled into his arms. You didn’t know what to say so you rested your forehead on his chin, his lips managing to plant a kiss on it. 

“I want you all to myself, Ben Solo.”

He huffed, “i’ve been all yours since the gummy bears kid.”

You smiled up to him, a few loose strands of your hair framing your face. 

“But if i don’t get that christmas cake in about 4.7 seconds, you’re going to lose me!”

You pushed him away and he led you into the kitchen, your hand in his.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading and continuing to support me through this story! Sometimes you think all you wanna do is write a quick fluffy/smutty story and be done, then other times you realize how good the payoff is if you build up to what you want to happen. 
> 
> Stick with me! Feel free to comment on how you felt about the story, and I'll try and answer any questions you have! (:
> 
> Love y'all!


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